I am so sorry for your loss and the treatment you received, no one should have to go through a m/c let alone the way you did.
My heart goes out to you.
Please take care of yourself
xxx
I read this last night and I was awake until 4.30am thinking about you. I can't believe we live in a day and age where you could receive this treatment - to say I'm beyond horrified would be a huge understatement. If I could, I would march into that hospital myself on your behalf and seriously kick some major butt.
My thoughts, hugs and prayers, and whatever positive vibes I have in my body, are all dedicated to you right now.
Please know you have a huge group here that are ready and willing to provide whatever support you need, whenever you need it.
Sweetheart, I am so very sorry that you had to go through this. Miscarriage is devastating enough in itself, but when you care providers don't offer you the level of support they should they make the situation even worse.
I had a similar experience to you with my first m/c. I also had a missed m/c at around the same gestation. Firstly I was seen by a very unsympathetic GP (not my usual GP, just whoever was available on the day I had my scan and found out about the mmc), they then told me to go straight to emergency. After waiting for 5 hours in emergency (and finally being told that the Dr should ph them first and check how busy they are before sending me in, as it was not an emergency anyway), I finally saw someone. Given the options of either waiting (and I had experienced no bleeding at all, so nature was not taking its course yet), having a D & C which I didn't want, or the final option was taking drugs that induce labour so that it will take care of itself.
I took the final option and after administering the drugs, I was sent home with some panadeine forte. I can relate to your pain - it is HORRENDOUS. I was given a small container with a plastic bag and a glove and told to collect as much as I could, keep it in the fridge and then bring it back for testing. I remember the next few hours vividly - the pain, the blood and clots, vomiting from the pain, being curled up on the bed unable to move (and this was WITH pan forte, so I can only imagine how much worse it would have been for you). The nurses did tell me it would be very painful and to take the pan forte straight away, which I am glad I did, so at least I had some idea of what was coming. I don't know if they prepare you enough for what to expect though. It is something I never want to go through again.
The hosp did tell me to come back a couple of days later to check that all had taken care of itself. Unfortunately it hadn't and I then had to go through it all again. It was ten days before the 'last' and worst of it left me when I had just returned to work. They also told me to come back if I had filled a pad in an hour, which was hard to tell when you are spending a lot of the time on the toilet because there is just so much blood.
Did they offer you any counselling or telephone numbers you can call if you need to talk? I found this very helpful when I fell into a heap about a week later.
I think unfortunately, this is just the way they handle m/c. If you don't want surgery, then I guess this is the only option. I think you should have been given a much better idea of what to expect and been offered counselling. Did they even ask you to come back in at some stage for a check up? I feel so very bad that this has happened to you. With time it does get easier, but you never forget going through an experience like that. I am always here if you need anyone to talk to.
Thank you all for reading this and your kind words. I feel having shared my story has helped me immensely, I am not a private person by nature and I really needed an outlet for these horrible events.
Bun, I was not given anything to collect it with, I didn't even think of gloves, I am really upset the hospital didn't provide me with anything. I had to use zip lock bags I had at home. They did not ask me to come back unless the pad issue presented - Ikwym - how can you judge a pad when you can't get off the toilet? I took myself to a gp Mon night, first available, and he was useless. Told me from what I'd said it was over, felt my tummy, told me I was really fertile right then if I wanted to try again (I refrained from slapping him, just - after the horror story I had just told him he thought I'd be trying to conceive that night?????) and if I developed a fever to go back and they may get me an ultrasound to see if anything remains. Absolutely no preventative medicine there, wait till I get an infection and then maybe do something about it. My normal GP is back from a fortnights leave next week, I am hanging out to see him because he likes to try to help the mental healing by offering support. He is the only doctor I can trust anymore.
Oh, chick, no wonder you are angry I would be surprised if you weren't, after reading your story!
When you have the energy, I would like to see you write a letter of complaint to the hospital, and CC the letter to the Minister for Health (Nicola Roxon) and the state minister for health, too. It's a situation that has happened before and only recently are women starting to arc up about it and ask for proper treatment, where they don't a) get sent home to deal with it alone (or in a waiting room toilet cubicle) or b) get sent to the maternity ward surrounded by babies and birthing women. It's just dispicable - the big hospital bosses wouldn't be so happy to let these things slide if it had ever happened to them...
You're not alone here, unfortunately, though it means you can share your feelings with people who have had their own trauma and sadness
I'm really sorry for your loss, and for the horrible way you experienced it.
I am glad that you have found getting it out there to be somewhat therapeutic, but I would also suggest you talk to someone about it. I am glad your regular GP is supportive, and I hope that they look after you in the coming weeks.
Take care of yourself, mate.
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I would be surprised if you weren't, after reading your story!
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