Should I be feeling this way??

[flutterby]

A little over a week ago I M/C at about 4 weeks. I had suspected I was pregnant about 10 dpo. (I have a 13 month old son and was showing similiar signs.) I had taken a HPT which had come up negative. The same happened with my son so I decided to wait until I was a few days late before trying again.
I began M/C 1 day after my AF was due. (Which is always on time.) My first thought was that I must of just read the signs wrong, or had experienced some wishful thinking. A few hours into it I knew this wasn't AF and a doctor later confirmed my fears. I had M/C.
I'm devestated. We were so excited about extending our family and I couldn't believe our luck when I was feeling all the early signs with the first attempt.
My partner isn't talking about it and I believe it's because the M/C happened so early and the pregnancy wasn't confirmed prior, that it isn't real for him. This is making me feel like I don't have the right to feel the devestation and heartbreak that I am and afraid to talk to friends in case they feel the same way as what I believe my partner is feeling.
I know it's only early days but my mind has wondered into the future and I'm so scared of trying for fear this happens again.
Are these normal feelings, thoughts and concerns??

[*LovemyKids*]

So Sorry for you lose, i have never been through what you have been through but iknow that i would be feeling exactly the same way as you. I hope that you feel better soon
Take care

[~Trish~]

Yes your feelings a very normal. I'm so sorry for your loss .

I had a similar thing happen when we started TTC last year. I too fell pg straight away, but miscarried not long after. I was devastated. I had so many hopes and dreams and then they were taken away from me and I had no idea what the future would hold.

To give you some hope, I fell pg again a few months later and had absolutely no problems.

Let yourself grieve, I'm sorry you are going through this right now.

[Evie76]

Your feelings are very normal. Allow yourself to grieve, this is not an easy thing to deal with.

My baby was 7 weeks, but I still feel like I lost a family member. My DH found it very hard to deal with and didn't talk about it. He still really hasn't talked about it, but I guess that was his way of dealing with it.

You have a right to feel however you want and no one can judge you for that, nor should they. And... you shouldn't judge yourself. If you feel sad, cry. That's what we do.

[Miss.B]

Hi flutterby,

I'm sorry for your loss, no matter how early, it is still a loss. The reason why men respond/grieve differently (and sometimes they appear like it hasn't affected them at all) is b/c they weren't experiencing the pg symptoms, so it wasn't REAL to them. Be gentle with yourself and your hubby.
And about the fear of trying again as the m/c might happen again? Yes, it is a very real fear, I have it too, but I came to the conclusion that I want to add to my family, I want an earth baby, and if I don't try and take the fear head on, I will never have the baby I dream of.
So take your time, and when you're ready to TTC, I wish you lots of luck and hope your dream comes true.

Beata.