So devastated, haven't slept for five nights :(

[Olive]

hun, maybe its worth getting in contact with a councellor to have a chat, you need sleep/rest for both your body and your mind. hope your heart heals soon

[Yarrawin]

Yeah, Maybe AJP.

Though I'm pleased to report that this afternoon I FINALLY drifted off and had almost a whole hour of sleep. Its not much but it helped.

Although now i'm back to square one because DH and I just had a big fight about TTC again and now he won't speak to me because he says I'm being stupid and unreasonable. Its okay. After that I don't want to speak to him either.

*sigh*

[luna moth]

Hi Yarrawin.
I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your baby. It's a very difficult experience. I had a lot of trouble sleeping too, but after a while I ended up so exhausted that I just slept through it all.
I have had to wait for TTC, because we lost our baby due to molar pregnancy. At first, the six month wait made the loss seem much more devastating, but now I'm already halfway through that, and I can see so many benefits. You may remember an overwhelming feeling when you found out you were pregnant of all the things you had to do, arrange, figure out. I feellike I've surmounted that - I've got an extra 6 months of knowing what to expect. Emotionally, having this time with DH has been like having a second honeymoon. We are so sure now that having a baby is what we want, and we're working towards that. It's also given me a lot of time to reconcile what's happened, and to properly farewell the baby that we lost. I've hd a lot of time to reflect ont he whole experience and recognise an inner strength I never knew about. Physically, it's an extra 6 months of folate and other supplements, and bulding my core muscles (as well as working the pelvic floor!) and getting myself into great shape, ready to carry that baby when it is time. Financially, well, it's been a gift, as it's an extra 9 months of me working that we hadn't counted on.

So, although it wasn't my choice, I'm a big fan of the wait.

I hope you're getting through, and getting lots of support. It's OK to feel sad, for as long as you feel like you need to. I cried yesterday - a lot - and it's been more than 12 weeks since my loss. So don't feel like there's any time limits. It will never ever ever stop hurting, but the pain will get easier to live with.