Surviving SIDS

[kiwidolly]

My baby girl, Emily died due to SIDS 10 years ago. Devastated doesn't begin to cover how I felt! It's only now that I can talk about what happened without crying. Last year, 8th Jan 07, 9 years after she died I found out I was pregnant and that the due date (8th Sept 07) I had was 4 days after Emily's (4th Sept). I wasn't sure how I would cope having a baby round about the same time as her due date.

My baby, which was a girl, was born on the 6th Sept after a 27 hour labour. On Emily's 10 year anniversary (8th Jan 08) my daughter is a smiliar age to Emily when she died. My thoughts have been preoccupied with this date and how would I cope, well, you do. There is a strength in all of us that helps to heal the hurt, although you will never forget your baby!! Even after all this time I still hurt but it is easier now that I'm past the anniversary date!

I just want to say to everyone that my thoughts are with you!!
I also want to say that life moves on. This may sound very harsh to you but you will move on but you will never forget your loved ones regardless how we lost them!

[mrsmac]

I cannot begin to imagine what you have been through but I know what you mean about finding the strength to move on, my mum died nearly 6 years ago and whilst I feel it deeply I can think about her with more joy than sadness now.
I am so glad your 2nd daughter is well and bringing you joy.

[kiwidolly]

I have to say it wasn't without alot of worrying and panic!! I had a fantastic midwife and lots of support, which helps!
I still have my days where I just want to cry especially when I watch the things that Ava does but Emily never got to do!

[mrsmac]

i think it is something that will always be with you, I remember my grandad saying that the very worst thing in the world that could happen was to lose your child (his 1st died of diptheria when he was 6)

[slyder]

I'm so pleased you've found joy again, Kiwidolly. Congratulations.

[kiwidolly]

Thank you! It has been hard at times but I look at Ava and my heart swells with loads of love, as well as some sadness. The good thing to come from Emily's death is that I'm less selfish and now with this wee bub I'm more hands on and I appreciate everything she does alot more!

[Lissie]

Kiwidolly,

I am so happy that AVA has come to you and brought so much joy - enjoy every minute.

[kiwidolly]

Thanks! I do, even the bad times I relish, because I can look back and know what it's like not to have a child in your life!

Best of luck to you in the IVF!! Hang in there!!

I wouldn't say you are over the hill. My mum had my younger sister when she was 43 and my partner is 51!!

[Acacia]

What a journey you've been through, kiwidolly. I can't imagine the difficulties you have been through, but I am smiling right now to hear of the joy you have in your life now and the way in which you are able to view your world and the things you have learnt from your journey.

I hope that your beautiful Emily is there to guide you, sitting on your shoulder and protecting Ava and your family along the way.

Ava's picture is beautiful! Congratulations!


Miss C

[Lissie]

kiwidolly,

Just looked at the picture of Ava - what an angel. You are one very lucky woman. Thankyou for your good wishes - and even though i say i'm over the hill - i don't feel it. Funny - but we moved from the city to the country over 3yrs ago - and alot of woman in town my age are grandmothers! I have even been asked if i have grand kids yet - and my answer is " steady on there" i still waiting to have a child of my own - you should see the look on some of there faces - its like i am from out of space!lol

[Rach75]

:hugs:my Katy was born the day before my nephew so I know how hard it is to look and go .....my baby should be doing this...etc

Jack was originally schedualed (c-sect) to be born on Katy's 3rd bday I when the dr told me in the end there was no beds so we were flown 10hrs away and his bday is now 2 days after hers

but I just wanted to offer you some :hugs: