You have done NOTHING to feel guilty about. You have not failed. You are not god, you did everything you could for your babies, and they could not stay despite that. Sometimes it is frightening to see how little control we have, but guilt over this is a fallacy. You had no more control than your babies did. Please don't make yourself suffer even more over something you COULD NOT have prevented.
Meredith I'm so sorry to read that the problems are continuing.
I have to second what Bec has said - you should not feel guilty over this! You have done everything within your power to keep your babies safe and they still could not stay... but it's nothing you have done to make them go. There's a whole range of emotions to feel at this point, but guilt is not one of them.
I really hope you get some answers soon... especially answers as to why your HCG levels aren't cooperating at the moment.
Meredith, I am so sorry that this pain continues to acutely for you. I hope the next couple of weeks allows your body to heal. You have been through so much but please do not feel guilt. Your angels know that you fought for them. Please look after yourself
I totally understand your guilt and rage at your body for not doing the right thing. Honey I feel it myself and I have said sorry to my son until my voice is ragged. This does not mean you should hold onto this guilt. Accept that it is going to drop in from time to time but let that other voice in your head - and I know you have it We All Do - gently coax you back from the brink. The voice that says it wasn't your fault angel, you did all you could, no one could have done any more than you.
Darling if the NK test is not going to yield results then you can ring the airline and explain. If they do not help you then I am happy to help out sweetheart.
Know that you are loved and that you are not whinging, you are baring your soul. This is cruel and unusual the pain you are going through, that we are all going through, so never apologise.
i hardly know what to say. I really hope you are able to go to sydney as planned and hopefully get some answers you are looking for. I too lost a baby at 22 weeks, 4 weeks ago and my body is still getting back to "normal". Please take care - we can't blame ourselves, its easy to planbt the thought, as we do consider our bodies to be the protector but its a road we will never get off if we do.
please take care! sending you love and hugs!
jo
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