May God give you strength each day as you deal with the pain of losing your little boy. God must have needed him more. I wish you and your family strength.
i am very saddened by the loss of your little boy, thank you for having the courage for sharing his story, i hope time can heal the pain, may he rest in peace
I am so sorry for the loss of your son. Reading your journey brings back so many memories for me. Be gentle with yourself and hold your family tight I will be thinking of you on Tuesday.
Dear jade
i am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet son Tyler
I never expect to read of Angels who depart eh same way our Annabelle did as it means someone else has to have gone through the same pain we did.
My heart is sad for you
hugs
Jude
I cant believe I am reading this. I have been MIA from BB for so long and to come back and see your post was icredible. I bawled and bawled for you and your loss.
After all that you had been through I cant beleve you had to endure this also.
I am in shock.
I am so sorry I wasnt aware of this sooner. I hope that you are doing ok, and that the hurt is easing a little with each passing day. Please take care, my friend and know you can contact me anytime....
It has been over 5 months now since Tyler passed and I thought now is the time for me to reflect over the past 5 months. And also I hope it shows other people who have experienced a loss that you will get through it?..you won?t get over it but it does get easier.
Firstly I want to say to all of you who posted words of support, encouragement it meant the world to me. I saw there were over 1,400 views WOW!!!!
The first month I was in a black black hole and I didn?t think I would ever come out of it. Tyler was all I could think about. I went through a stage where I had to read anything I could get my hands on regarding stillbirth, losing a child etc?. Googling on the net, reading other peoples stories of loss, true knots in cord, did Tyler suffer, was he suffering for a long time before he passed. I got about 6 books from Amazon I was just reading and reading. I also purchased the DVD ?Losing Layla? I have watched it about 10 times now. I recommend to any of you who have experienced a loss. I also kept watching the DVD of Tylers funeral. I bought a journal and I wrote to Tyler telling him how I was feeling, what was happening. I could tell him stuff that I couldn?t tell anyone else. I lit a candle everyday in front of his memory box at night it made his photo glow. I still couldn?t go into his room the thought of it was just too much. It took me months to unpack his hospital bag I just couldn?t do it?.it was like I was packing him away.
I had many many bad days through the first 2 months but then some good days?.then more and more good days followed by some bad days?..guess it?s just like a rollercoaster up and down. I guess the biggest hurdle for me to get over was the guilt?..all the what if?s?..but then I realized I can?t change what happened these thoughts that I am feeling are not going to bring Tyler back and they aren?t going to change anything. I have to move on from that guilt.
The pain is still there but not as intense as it was?there are some days I can look at Tylers photo and smile?.and there are days that it makes me sad. There is not a day that goes by that I don?t think of Tyler it doesn?t consume my thoughts all day now. But the dreams have started?dreaming of the labour, the night before being monitored etc? I know I will never get over Tyler he has taken a piece of my heart that can never be replaced?..but I guess it just gets easier to deal with.
So thanks again girls your posts were so needed during that time.
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I will be thinking of you on Tuesday.
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