Waiting

**ll80** · January 13th, 2008, 12:26 PM

Big

,
waiting is the worst.
Things happened fairly quickly for me, I found out on the Monday and by Tuesday evening I started to m/c naturally, all happened so quickly for me, I hope the extra time for you will help you prepare yourself mentally, well as much as you can for something like this.
I hope everything isn't too hard on you.
Good Luck,
..Laura

**Baby Angels** · January 13th, 2008, 12:37 PM

Megsie.... I had to wait a while. Hard would be an extreme understatement. Then it all happened and even while it was happening because I had twins I was still hoping, praying that only one had passed. It was that night, 1st January this year, that I found this web site. I went into the chat room and the wonderful ladies in there settled me down and suggested going to the A & E. The following morning I woke up with cramping stil, went to the A & E where they put me straight in, did tests and confirmed that they had both passed. I had my answer, it had happened, the wait was over...... the following day I was fine. The day after that and then the day after and day after etc I was far from fine. Even though the wait was difficult, long and painful it did allow me one thing. Time to sort my head out to some degree. Not to greive because that was the difficult part, i couldnt greive until i had something happen, but I think of where I would be right now it I had found out and then it happened straight away and I really do not think I would be doing to well right now. We can only do this one day at a time, and the waiting whilst difficult allows the mind to prepare to adjust.

The fog does lift eventually.

**tempus moriendi** · January 14th, 2008, 10:01 AM

Megsie: so sorry for what you're going through. The longest I ever had to "wait" was 6 days from when bleeding started to when I passed the sac. However, it had died 4 weeks previously, just didn't know. Most docs won't make you wait past 2 weeks, which sounds awful. They won't make you wait months before a d&c.

But I agree about how little information is out there for the public about MC. My pet peeve is the way MC is portrayed in tv and movies--the woman screaming and thrashing around. My MC's were all very quiet events physically, although emotionally they took a toll.

I'll be praying for you.

**Baby Angels** · January 16th, 2008, 12:01 AM

Just checking in on you again Megsie. I did not have a good time of it when I was in the position you are right now and I hope that you are dealing with it better than I did.

My thoughts are with you each day :hugs:

Jenstar · January 16th, 2008, 01:00 AM

Well, I hope everything is okay in your case. The brown blood concerns me. With my very first pregnancy, I had brown spotting on and off for days until they did a scan which revealed I'd had a "missed abortion" (also known as a "blighted ovum"). It's where your body fails to recognise and miscarry naturally. I thought I was 11 wks and it turned out to be 8wks and 6 days. I had a D&C.

**Megsie1977** · January 16th, 2008, 06:53 AM

I'm still here, still waiting. I have had an increase in the cramping but nothing severe but the bleeding is still slower than it was last week. I think my body isn't doing what it should and I will have a D&C soon. I feel well physically most of the time, I've had some nausea but I've been exercising and feeling fine so I feel confident there's no infection starting. I know this is stupid but I'm just so busy for the next week and I'm kind of putting everything off. I'm doing my boss' job and the kids will be back at school soon and that's all keeping me occupied. If nature doesn't take it's course by next week I will do something about it.
Emotionally I am also OK, still a bit up and down. I'm crying really easily but not uncontrollably. I'm trying to focus on getting myself healthy so I'm in a good position to TTC again in a few months. I am missing the intimacy with my partner though, I feel like it's going to be forever before we can make love again.
Also, I've been having really vivid, often unpleasent dreams. Has anyone else had that? Maybe it's a sign I'm not dealing as well as I think.

Jenstar · January 16th, 2008, 08:00 AM

Megsie, have you had a scan yet? Do you know for sure?

**Megsie1977** · January 16th, 2008, 11:06 AM

I had an u/s last Monday which showed no fetus, there had also been no growth since 6 weeks. Unfortunately I'm sure. I kind of knew from the beginning I think. I kept saying to my sister how this pregnancy was nothing like my others and how I'd had hardly any symptoms, now I know why.

Jenstar · January 16th, 2008, 11:09 AM

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Give your body time to recover and you'll be right to try again. All the best.

**Baby Angels** · January 16th, 2008, 01:59 PM

Ohhh Megsie........ my dreams the whole time where over the top, quite possibly stress, but OMG they were unreal.

DH actually.... clever clever hubby sometimes...... listened to all of them...even though in some of them he was off cheating with someone which made me wake up looking at him with death stares....lol..... but he ended up after about a week and said. All of your dreams are dreams that someone that was insecure would have. I think you are having them because you are insecure about what is happening and its coming out in your dreams.... It made perfect sense to me.

My angels were 2 weeks ago and the dreams have now gone.

Being busy is probably a blessing in disguise. just make sure to take the time out to greive when it does happen.

Take care

**Megsie1977** · January 16th, 2008, 04:40 PM

Funny, my dream last night was that DP was cheating on me because we hadn't been able to have sex for so long - ridiculous!
Thanks for making me feel less crazy.
xx

**Baby Angels** · January 16th, 2008, 11:28 PM

Glad to help in the less crazy department, now if I could just make the rest of it easier...........

**tempus moriendi** · January 17th, 2008, 09:13 AM

I know what it's like to wait--only I did the opposite of you. I went and bought groceries and tried to get errands done and clean the house before the unblessed event. Nervous energy, I suppose, but when it happened I felt justified to put my feet up and rest.
Keeping you in my prayers.

**Baby Angels** · January 20th, 2008, 09:36 AM

Just checkin in on you

**Megsie1977** · January 20th, 2008, 08:15 PM

I decided last week I couldn't wait any longer so yesterday I had a D&C. It was a very simple procedure for me and I've recovered easily. I only bled a little yesterday after it was done and now I have no loss at all, a nice change from the last month of bleeding. All the staff at the Mater where I had it done were just wonderful and very compassionate which helped to make it less traumatic.
I feel OK, I'm certainly feeling the best I have in ages. I'm planning to go to the service they have ecery month at the hospital to commemorate the babies that have been lost each month.
Thanks everyone for your thoughts and kind words, reading your stories and responses has helped me through this last month.

**ll80** · January 20th, 2008, 08:18 PM

Hi Megsie, I'm glad you were able to get some resolution so that you can start to move on.

..Laura

**Baby Angels** · January 20th, 2008, 08:32 PM

While none of us ever want to have to do that, I understand the lift off your shoulders you would be feeling, the ability you now have to mourn and to grieve. Just watch out for the next few days sweetie, I seemed fine the first 2 days and then I felt like I had been kicked to the ground on the third day, my grief was overwhelming. I hope you manage to get by that and move on a little easier.

HUGE hugs to you :hugs: