I use the day our daughter was born (she was stillborn @36 weeks).

I don't like to use the day we found out because it was Christmas Eve & the holidays are already emotional enough I've found & I don't like to use what would have been her due date cause I have a friend who's son was born around the same time our angel should have been. I find that just makes me look at his son & think, Ashley should be that age too.

I say just pick whichever date feels more comfortable for you & for whatever reasons you feel. For me, like so many others, I chose her birth/death date cause that was the night when it all seemed finally real. None of it really seemed to feel like it was happening until I was induced & gave birth to her.