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Thread: Why Why Why????????????

  1. #1

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    Default Why Why Why????????????

    I dont even know where to start with this, I got a phone call yesterday morning at 4 oclock to say my best freinds bubby had died, I went and sat with her all day, cried with her, and am there for her and her family, it is just so unfair, Litltle breella was just 5 weeks old, and although people say it happened for a reason I keep thinking what reason could there be for taking a beautiful little angel from her mummy and daddy and sisters and brothers and everyone else that loves her so dearly,My freind is blamming herself and keeps saying dont bring your kids here I just kill them. It hurts so much to hear the nightmares and her screaming out for them to give her baby back, I am sitting here in tears not knowing what to do, have come home to have a good cry myself as am trying to be strong for her, all she wants is a bullet and a gun, I just cant cope, what do I do


  2. #2

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    Mel - you're doing everything you can by simply being there for your friend and her family. Their pain at this time is going to be massive - it will seem insurmountable - all you can do is be a friend - a shoulder to cry on and someone to support them through everything that happens in the coming weeks and months. it is going to be terrible for them, and extremely hard on you as a friend - let them see that you're grieving - and then just take their lead as to what they need from you.

    with your friend saying not to bring your children over - i'm guessing it's her way of saying she just couldn't cope with their pressence at the moment - it's not about them, it's about her own grief. it's probably just not something she is comfortable expressing to you. again, take her lead - she'll let you know when she's ready.

    this is a tragedy - and it will take youall a massive amount of time and understanding for your friends to grieve their angel baby. you're being a fantastic friend by being there for them. just wanting to send you all massive hugs - i'm sure others who've lost an angel baby after birth can give you some more advice

    take care

    BG

  3. #3

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    Mel I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's terrible loss. I cant imagine what you are all going through but just want to send my love and prayers xx I'm sure the support that you are showing to her and her family will help them pull through. No doubt this will take an emotional toll on everyone so just remember to take care of yourself too so that you can remain strong for your friend

  4. #4

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    Oh Mel I'm so so sorry, its just not fair. I really dont know what to say, other than offering you and your friend my condolences. Really sorry to hear this, its absolutely devestating.

  5. #5

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    Mel,

    I am so sorry for the loss your friend has experienced. THis is just devasting - and i don't think anyone of us could begin to imagine what it is like for her to loose a 5week old baby. There are no words i can say to ease her pain - just be there for her is the only advise i have.

  6. #6

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    I am so so so sad to read this. What a wonderful friend you are. It is really really hard to just 'be' with someone as they grieve. To sit with her as she rides these waves of emotion and knowing that you can't take it away.
    Please give her the option of contacting sids for kids. Even for you it may help to debrief. Sending love to your friend and to you a very special friend indeed...

  7. #7

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    I'm so sorry for your friend and her family, Life doesn't seem fair sometimes.
    Big hugs to you, you are being a great friend.
    R.I.P little angel.

  8. #8

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    I am sorry to read of things like this! You are doing all you can by being there for her but remember you have to grieve too..... I feel so sad for you all..

    Know we are all thinking of you and your friend and her family, the next few weeks/month will be really difficult for everyone, you will never forget but it will get easier wiith time I have had 2 brothers die in the past and there is not a day i dont think about them but now (20yrs and 10 years later) i mainly think of all the good things in their short lives and not so much about their deaths, jut what they brought to our lives and how they both have made me the person i am today!

    If you need to talk feel free to PM me.

  9. #9

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    Mel - I am so sorry to hear about your friends little girl, it is devastating. You are doing the best thing for her right now and that is to be with her, cry with her, scream with her. Big hugs to you and your friend and her family

  10. #10

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    mel, what a wonderful friend you are. i am 3 months on after loosing my little girl at 2 1/2 weeks old. i guess all i can say from my experience is to be there for her but understand if she doesnt want you there - its so hard to take on everyone's grief as well. i know i felt like i had to comfort everyone else .. but when she's ready, talk about her child by name, it does help to know that they weren't just a dream.

  11. #11

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    What a terrible thing for your friend to have to go thru. And you are a wonderful friend for being there. Someone suggested getting ideas from a support network (Bonnie Babes or SIDS or something) - I think that is a fantastic idea. Their counsellors are trained to deal with these scenarios and their tools maybe just the thing your friend needs to cope whilst she battles her way thru.

    And don't forget, there is lots of support and help here - but you already know that, right?

  12. #12

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    It's so tragic what she's going through and you're a really good friend to be there for her. I'll keep you all in my prayers.

    I'm sure you already know this, but if she is suicidal (you mentioned she wants a bullet and a gun), she needs professional help immediately.

    so sorry.

  13. #13

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    all i can say is am so sorry for her loss but i think you are a truely wonderful person to be trying to support her at such a difficult time. Make sure you take some time out also as it will impact on you strongly as her friend .:hugs:

  14. #14

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    Mel i wish i could find some words that might make some sort of sense of this tragedy but to tell you the truth, i have nothing, i feel totally empty when i read of things happening like this. I cant begin to understand the grief the mother must be feeling, and you as a friend, trying to be strong but emotionally wrecked inside as well. I think you are the true meaning of friendship, and i wish everyone had a friend like you.

    please take care of yourself and the poor family going through this terrible tragedy.

    hugs
    treelo

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