I couldn't do it. I don't think I would be able to detach myself from the baby enough to hand it over at the end of the pregnancy. My brain would be telling me that the baby isn't a part of my family but my heart wouldn't give it up. I bond so much with my babies when pregnant I'm not sure I'd be able to handle giving the baby to it's parents at the end of the day.
I'm not sure I could even donate eggs. I just wouldn't be able to separate in my mind that the child was not mine.
I would love to think i could do it,I believe that ppl who can and do carry a baby for others is an amazing and wonderful gift
But i know i could not do it, when i was pregnant i had such a serious early attachment to my baby inside me and i know i would have that again and not want to give the baby up even though it would not be 'my baby'.
I know i definitely could not use one of my eggs or give one of them, the thought that my baby would be out there somewhere really hits my heart.
I have an older sister who is not ina relationship with no children, iv often wondered if it came down to she really wanted a baby but could no longer carry one or couldn't, would i do this for her? Once again i would love to think i could , but i cant say for sure.
I am glad there are people out there who do this for others, but in saying that i don't think anyone should feel bad for not being able to do it , there are many factors to consider emotionally ,physically and legally .
I could do it. I have thought about this alot since reading 'somebody elses child' about the experience of a surrogate journey in Canberra. I would love to do it, especially now that our family is complete. I would wait until Marta is old enough to have it explained to her etc, but yeah, it is something that i will keep all eyes and ears out for. i would do it for family and close friends in a heartbeat, and even with much consideration and investigation for a couple whom i may not know that well.
But my interpretation of surrogacy is with the embryo not being from me or DH (that is, the embryo of the couple). And FWIW, the mother of the child to be born can take drugs to help her produce milk, so that the baby will have the chance to have a breastfeeding journey with their mummy.
Nope.
And there's no way I could donate my eggs either
I often struggle with guilt over both things - you would think someone who has been through what I have in all aspects of TTC/IVF and babies would be most likely to do it, but no.
I am too selfish
I bond too much from very early on in the pregnancy... and I love pregnancy like its an addiction... I have no idea if that comes from years of yearning it after DS1 and being such a big gap for DS2?
Either way, I just immerse myself into everything invloved, and I just couldn't give the baby up at the end I don't think!
I'm also another one who would want to breastfeed etc (or definately want the baby to have the breastmilk) so I think I would want to be too involved for the mum & dad
I think its amazing for anyone that can do it though... perhaps when I feel like I'm done having my own children I may feel differently... but I can't imagine even feeling 'done' at this point in my life (or at all) so thats only hypothetical
I could do it, and have thought about it for a specific friend who has health problems....I haven't mentioned anything to her though.
Although I bond with my babies while they are in my belly, if I was a surrogate, I would already consciously know that that child isn't mine but a dear friends. I would be able to separate myself from it, and I would happily hand over a baby to her without batting an eyelid. I would cry with happiness for her that she has a child and that I was the one able to let her live that.
It would definitely have to be her eggs though...I wouldn't donate my own to anyone except my Sister if she needed them.
Yes I could provided my own family was finished. I could also donate my eggs but I couldn't do both (carry my biological child with the intention of giving it to someone else)
Surrogacy? No way. I'm biologically setup to gain obscene amounts of weight while pregnant, and also setup to produce vast amounts of milk for the next year or so to use up that weight. Works great for my babies, wouldn't work so good for someone else's.
Eggs though, sure. I make disgustingly cute happy healthy babies, wouldn't mind sharing that around
I could do surrogacy, and I could donate eggs. I have a close male gay friend, who is in a wonderful relationship. I know that down the track it will probably come up. So that would be with my eggs too, and I am OK with that. I want for them to have a family as much as I want us to have one, so it would be a special and wonderful thing to do.
I also have a friend who has lost both of her ovaries at a very early age. If it comes up that it would work out for both of us, I would love to offer ED for her, although I suspect she wouldn't be up for it. I would also be happy to do it for a stranger.
My concerns - initially I worried about what DH would think of it, and always assumed he would say no. But we talked about it one night. He adores both friends as much as I do, and is so stoked to be starting a family, that he would love to be able to give the same gift to others. Financial concerns; I would be taking a reasonable amount of time off work to do it, and I'd probably want to be compensated for that in some way.
The gene pool would worry me a little bit, if we were donating to a stranger. But it's not like I'm running around spreading my seed - it's one or two potential little people. And our previous loss - I am at higher risk of it happening again, so I guess we'll have to see what happens down the track in our childbearing career to predict what decisions are made.
This is something i have thought about with my cousin going through so much to have a child with his wife.
I would like to think that i could, that i would be strong enough to realise that it's NOT my baby and that i would be giving them the greatest gift in life.
I think i could separate those feelings for myself and i know i am not planning on having any more kids of my own but i think it would be hard on my girls.
Seeing me PG and knowing there is a baby in there but not being able to take it home for them to play with.
My cousin lives a fair way away, i think that would make things easier as you wouldn't always be seeing the bub and thinking WHAT IF.
Honestly i'm not sure anyone can ever say they are 100% prepared for the emotions that would be involved in this choice, i would like to think i could do it... but i just wouldn't know
I'd like to think I could but I think my heart would rip out to hand over a baby after giving birth. I have no qualms what-so-ever about egg donation though. However both are very likely a moot point for me as I'll be too old by the time I could start on assisted conception anyway.
I've actually discussed this issue with my husband. There is a good chance that one of my close friends will never be able to conceive, and it breaks my heart. If I had finished my family I would be happy to be a surrogate.
I would do it for my sis (she is gay and her and her partner have had no luck IVF) But I think my DP would have issues with it. I think in the back of his mind, he would like another bubs and having to deal with grumpy frumpy preg me with out the bubs at the end would be too much for him LOL
I could. I have a very hard time bonding with my kids at first so thats not an issue for me. Ive never successfully BF any of my children, so FF from birth wouldnt be an issue either. I would prefer to do this only for close friends or family though as that way I would know bub was going to a good home. Gosh sounds like Im talking bout a puppy huh?
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