Have you been to the education groups? These will answer all the questions you have. I cannot have any more children and we have done the education groupls and are about to start our home study.
Basically, the children generally call you mum and dad, and how often they see their birthparents varies depending on the situation and the subsequent court order. they say up to 10 times a year, but the most common requirement is 3-4 times a year. This does not always have to be face to face either.
It is a pretty quick process actually compared to adoption, and I've found the people at DHS fantastic to deal with.