Aspergers/Autism/Sensory Integration Chatter #2

[christy]

*nods head* Jovie even does it to her big sister.... and we get the hair pulling tumbling girl fights over it.

You know Lu, when M was at Montessori, I loved it, but it was the playground issues that left a bad taste in my mouth. The girls would pick on Matilda. I still remember the screaming meltdowns over the fact that I didn't wear skirts.... I remember her laying in the bathroom screaming and vomitting and it took 3 hours to calm her down (the meltdown started when I picked her up) and it was all due to a girl telling her that "girls wear skirts, if you aren't wearing a skirt, you aren't a girl". Matilda hated skirts until that day. And now its an issue getting her to not wear skirts...

[tan32]

Hi all I just had to pop in to write as i am still buzzing from a great meet the teacher night at school.
Hamish is in his second year of school this year and last year wasn't our best. I had spoke to his teacher about the possibility of Aspergers and was blow off, then all the things i pointed out to her he was punished for, arghhhhhhhhhhh very frustrating year.

Anyhow I went in and told his teacher earlier in the week that Hamish was going in to start his assessments for Aspergers, she was very understanding and great. Tonight she told me Hamish had a melt down in class over his pencils today. In his last class they had a pot of their own, this year he is meant to share with the girl sitting next to him. Well apparently he just couldn't deal with it, it was out of his control and he didn't like it, he didn't like her sharpening the pencils when he felt they didn't need it etc... anyhow the teacher assured me it wasn't a sharing issue as he shares other things, this was him not being able to hand control over to someone else, anyhow he now has his own pot of pencils again.
She also told me about how he takes everything literally , she said to write your name in big writing so he wrote in capitals really big
We had a great chat and he has shed a few tears as he is trying to settle into a new routine and a different class and students. The big bonus is his teachers mother is currently studying a masters degree in education for children with autism/aspergers and I know her yeah it looks like Hamish has a teacher who finally gets us.

sorry i feel so excited for my little man

[Lulu]

We had a great chat and he has shed a few tears as he is trying to settle into a new routine and a different class and students. The big bonus is his teachers mother is currently studying a masters degree in education for children with autism/aspergers and I know her yeah it looks like Hamish has a teacher who finally gets us.

sorry i feel so excited for my little man

SQUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Oh that's FANTASTIC Tan! Doesn't it make a difference to the way you feel? I'm really happy for you!

A slightly better day at school today. No hitting Apparently he had a meltdown because he didn't win a game. A different teacher held the class for it - she told me screamed and cried that he was a loser and crap and never wins anything - and that it was heartbreaking "where does he get this stuff from?"

My hackles went up a bit so I explained that he can take a throw off comment from his older sister (17) and take it literally (she wouldn't have said it to him though) , that he gets very anxious that he can't do everything perfectly.
She agreed he seemed very black and white and may not be ready for school at all. Grrrr. I felt I had to explain how well he did at Kinder, we were all sure he was ready for school and I was sad and surprised at how he has been coping. That he has been seeing an OT and I wasn't sure about going ahead with a aspy dx yet.

I've sent an email to his teacher (she asked me to let me know how I handle his meltdowns so she could reinforce it at school. Love her), and now I've included more background and that I am well aware of his quirks and stresses. I just felt like this other teacher thought I had no idea Although she seemed satisfied that I have a handle on it after I finished explaining.....

[lestyrox]

Oh ladies reading your posts is so helpful. You're all saying what i'm feeling. I am SO scared about the future for Ethan, especially what school will be like. He too has a hair trigger temper (i call him my little fire cracker ) and is SO protective of his toys. At the moment i'm really struggling with his not sharing. His poor little brother just wants to play with him but as soon as he gets to close to Ethan's toys WHAM he pushes him or hits him straight in the face. Its nearly impossible to do activities with both of them. Even simple things like painting or play do turns into a fight. I feel like i either need to keep them at seperate ends of the house or buy two of everything! I would really like to give Ethan some more one on one time, i'm looking into starting some sensory activities for him but i'm really struggling to find activities that both boys can do without the screaming and hitting... any ideas?

Tan- YAY for finding an awsome teacher!! thats so great.

I've been thinking of putting Ethan in day care 1/2 day a week just to expose him to other kids and also to be honest i would like some one on one time with his little brother. But i'm scared. I just don't know how he'll cope. He's so anxious and gets overwhelmed easily. I'm worried he'll go balistic if someone touches his toys or he doesn't like an activity etc etc. The centre alrteady has one little boy there who has asd so i know the staff are familiar with it which is great.... i don't know. How on earth do you let go ladies? The thought of putting Ethan in someone elses care terrifies me..will they know his quirks?, what he wants? how to settle him???

Anyway Ethan has his blood test in the morning EEEEEP!!! i am dreading it. Hubby is buying some of those ELMA patches today, i'm hoping they will numb his little arms so the experience isn't AS traumatic poor little guy....anyone else used these?

[christy]

lestyrox, I hope he did okay for those blood tests. I now go into those sorts of tests holding my breath, and then exhaling when she gets her ice block at the end.... its just something to endure...

Well... I'm taking sometime to write down whats going on here now.

Yesterday I phoned DH prior to our "hand over". I work Monday late shifts and start at 5pm, so I don't see DH on Monday's at all. I phoned him on my way to work and he asked about Matilda. I stopped and said "You know what? She's been amazing today. We had one moment of hyper arousal when her MP3 player arrived and she settled really quickly after that." I couldn't believe the words coming out of my mouth.

Then this morning, as we were getting ready for school and dropped off Jovie and Matilda, I thought... OMG she is being a fricken angel!!! She is soooo goood. I've never had her be this well behaved little angel before. So I dropped her at school and told her how proud I was and how happy it made me that she was being so good.

Then DH & I had an appointment with an RDI counsellor. Its someone who does behaviour help for children on the with our sorts of issues (ranging from brain trauma to sensory issues). Anyway, I said to DH that she was amazing, we got there and the counsellor said "Wow... I went through your paperwork last night, and I'm amazed. Matilda is almost the most severe case of sensory issues that she has ever dealt with I asked her "um, are you happy to work with us?" and she said "Yes, I would love to work with you and see the progress you have made in the past year". She was extremely encouraging and was all about natural and instinctive parenting for children with our issues. She said "You know these children refuse to read the book, even more so... they will be the reason you write one"

So, I left encouraged. Got home and MIL dropped the girls off after school/day care as I only got home at 3pm and once again, Matilda's behaviour has been amazing all afternoon, dinner, bath , bed! I'm just astounded. We haven't ever gone 1 week before without a massive meltdown, and you know what? We have gone 3 weeks now and her behaviour just continues to improve. Her OT has said that she is almost able to completely self regulate her emotions now . In June/July last year, Matilda was still screaming 3 hours a day and escaping and running and we would have to physically restrain her.... and now we've gone 3 weeks without anything other than a "normal" tantrum???? WT?

Now... after all that excitement on her progress, I will talk about the things she has picked up in the meantime to regulate herself that aren't "socially" acceptable. Last week Matilda started sucking her thumb. For the first time. She has been biting her nails for over a year now, but now she bites them until they bleed. She is obsessively picking her nose. If there is the slightest niggle in there, up goes her fingers.... She is also flapping more, and doing other "autistic" things like rocking etc, will not come out of her room when we have visitors etc etc etc... but you know what? That helps me feel better about a diagnosis. It helps me feel better that I know that she has issues, and its okay to accept them. I can deal with those flapping, and thumb sucking, and nail biting things when I don't have to deal with 3 hours of screaming and physical restraint. Its much easier to handle. I dare someone to say something to me about it .

[MantaRay]

Wow Christy, I am so, so, so pleased to hear how great the improvement has been with Matilda. That is really awesome news. I really can't imagine how it must feel to have not had that stress of a meltdown for 3 whole weeks. You must feel like a new woman!

I know that you will continue to have challenges, but I'm glad that at least you are getting a break. And I know that you will continue to handle things with love, strength and courage as you always have

[Lulu]

YAY for Matilda! Everything you have been doing has helped her get to this point so HUGE YAY for you and DH

Mitch is on and off at school, but getting used to the routine a little better. He needs help focussing, and with his anger still.

Love his teacher - she told me on Friday that if by Tuesday he can keep up the good work concentrating he gets to sit on one of the ponies (preps don't ride till later in the year). She will take a photo and blow it up to make a puzzle. Each day/week he holds his focus and holds back the aggression he will get a puzzle piece. When the puzzle is complete he can have a ride with his older buddy leading the pony. This teacher really gets my boy

We have been talking each day when I pick him up, she has contacted his kinder teacher and invited her to the school for a chat (kinder teacher is very interested in the way they teach there).

He has gotten to know the other teachers there rather quickly , and despite his Mitchness (!) they just seem to adore him - one loves talking to him and was very proud when he apologised to another child for hitting without being asked. Feels so good!