thank you Raven for your welcome,
its so nice to have some people to share this with, knowone else in our family has experienced this and my husband is sick of talking about it, I think he's actually grieving the loss of the 'boys boy' he thought he'd have as our little boy can be quite shy and withdrawn at times, particularly in a group situation.
Its so hard to know whats going on in his head some days! we're all new to this and I guess we'll know more when we see the pead and the OT. I certainly understand the kindy dilemma, we used to live in New South Wales, when he was there he went to a 30 place kindy/daycare since he was 4 months old. He went really well there, the staff were lovely, it was a small group and it was all very familiar for him. When we moved up here he had serious issues adjusting, when I'de drop him off at the daycare (a 300 place centre, because they are all enormous up here) he used to run and hide and cry in the cubby house the minute I left, every morning the same place...I couldn't take it, so I've pulled him out and he's just at home with me now, but I don't know how that will go when he gets closer to school!