I'd be asking how ignoring issues will make his DS's life any better? Denying the white elephant in the room will in fact only make your DH's fears a self-fulfilling prophecy. If fear about his life being harder than normal is his true concern, then an early diagnosis and intervention is they way to stop that. But by all means, if he wants his son the suffer censure and self-esteem issues because he still has these problems years down the track when they are much harder to change and less socially acceptable, keep ignoring the signs.

And in the end, I defy anyone who says my child is not "normal". Yes, she's autistic - it's not like she has the plague (although you wouldn't know it with the way some people talk about it). While she has difficulty in some areas and needs help, there are also things about her where she excels and leaves other kids for dead. What is normal anyway? I know plenty of "normal" people that are absolute a$$hats, have no motivation and are mediocre at everything they do, and I know plenty of people that are not considered "normal" who are the most interesting, innovative, skilled, and sweetest people I've ever met.