MR that is the most awesome set of posts ever! I agree totally with everything you've written (even though I don't have experience as a parent I do have some professional experience in this general field - but by no means an expert or anything).

Charmalea - it's great you have your questions ready. Keep adding to it as you think of them. The psych should be expecting it and shouldn't bat an eyelid when you pull them out. I totally agree with MR about getting an assessment from an appropriately qualified and experienced psych in this field. Also, you might want to ask about strategies for some of the social situations and concerns you have described (if you don't already). You might find attending a few sessions with the specialist psych just yourself to get some stratgies for dealing with people's reactions, for how to advocate for your DD, for how to educate people to look at the whole child like MR and others have said and verbally walking you through the education system in your state (as it relates to giftedness) and so on might be invaluable.