DD1 turns 6 in October and started Prep this year. She was so excited and couldn't wait to go. She has significant language delay, and also needs Occupational Therapy. Her Prep teacher is already talking about her repeating. If she does, she will be 7, and in the same class as 5 year olds.
DS1 has Autism Spectrum Disorder. He goes to Kindy at a Special Education Unit two mornings a week, and next year will be going five mornings a week. He cannot talk at all, is not toilet trained, and does very little that a 4 year old should do.
DD2 and DS2 are 19 month old twins. DD2 doesn't seem to be very delayed, apart from not talking, but at least she makes lots of sounds. She still likes pureed food, but at least she will eat finger food. DS2 will not eat anything that is not pureed, drops any finger food food that is put into his hand, and can only make one sound, a hard, "G" sound. Nothing else. They have been accepted into the Playgroup that is run at the same place that DS1 goes to. The Guidance Officer that I spoke to there suggested that it is too early to tell, but DS2 could quite possibly have an Intellectual Disability, or be Autistic as well.
What have I done wrong? Am I a horrible mother? I am in tears again from going over it.
No need to reply, I just needed to vent.
you are not a horrible mother and have done nothing wrong... I cant offer you anything other than another hug as i have no idea what you must be feeling
3 firm smacks for thinking your a horrible mother!! get that silly cotton picking idea rigth out of your head NOW!!!!!
These babies have been sent to you cause they knew that you would love and nuture them for who they are not what they are.
Hon - if you have doubts about DD@ get a second opinion. Take her to your MCHN, GP anyone who will listen. Your her mum and your gut is tellign you something isnt right...you know honey, yourve been there before. I knew that my DS2 was special needs from the time he was born. It was my gutt telling me and I wasnt wrong. He has medium functioning autisum and OMG we are having bad days since he started school. I went to 2 different doctors and finally my MCHN listened to me and helped me.
I wish you the best of luck and if you feel like your hitting brick walls matie...pm me Im always here to listen. A person told is a burdern lessened!
Oh Karla, big hugs to you. What a difficult time you have had over the last few years. And what an amazing job you have done to take all that on board and do all the right things for you children. You must be totally exhausted and drained. Please do not feel any guilt, you have done nothing wrong. On the contrary, your children are lucky to have such a caring, devoted mum.
Do you have any time to yourself? Any-one to help you out when it all gets too much? I think you are totally amazing to deal with all that.
Karla special babies get sent to the best mothers so they can SHOW the rest of us how to do it! You haven't done anything wrong. Your kids are lucky to have you, you sound like you're a very alert and caring mum (for example, your DS2 sounds relatively normal to me, for 19 months - you know better because you're around him all the time and you know your stuff - if i were his mum he might have gone a long time without anyone helping him!), thank goodness for your kids, that they have you!
All 4 of my munchkins came down with gastro at the same time, with the youngest having to go into hospital for a couple of days. We've gotten over that, and now they are all sick with a shocking cold. I'm just feeling really tired at the moment, and everything together has made me feel a little depressed.
DH has been absolutely fantastic, and I don't know where I would be without my mum.
I think you are an amazing woman and mother. I can't imagine dealing with 4 sick kids let alone everything else you face on a day to day basis. But I second what all the others have said - you have not done anything wrong. These children are with you because you do everything RIGHT. Stay strong.
Karla vent away... sometimes it's just good to get it out there, IYKWIM. It sounds like you've got a lot to process at the moment.
My DD repeated (she did preschool, then did prep as the system changed here in Qld). Yes she is older than her classmates, but it has significantly narrowed the "gap" between her learning ability and theirs. I struggled with the decision at the time, it was a very hard one to make. But now, in hindsight, I think the benefits of increasing her language skills and OT skills (which caused a corresponding increase in her self-confidence) far outweigh the age difference concerns I may have had. She is also a bit taller than the other kids in her class.
I think you have to weigh it all up... does she need the extra time to work on speech/language and OT? Both of those skills are essential to learning as they progress up the grades. Even maths is affected by language (from Grade 3 they need to read and comprehend written problems).
All the best, and try not to second guess yourself once you have made a decision. You're her Mum and you'll be acting in her best interests. And above all else, remember to celebrate her for the unique little person she is (learning ability does NOT equal success)
Oh you poor thing! I could have written that post- in fact I just blogged my woes not 20 minutes before reading your post. I know exactly how you feel right now. And all I can say is- it wasn't your fault!
We are currently coming to terms with the fact that we may now have 2 special needs children
The uncertainty is awful, in fact it's by far the worst thing. If someone could tell you *this is what is wrong, and this is the outlook for your child* you'd have something... But the world of delayed development, especially where there is another child already with special needs, is a scary and sometimes despairing world.
PM me if you ever need a chat.
don't you sometimes think we have got this whole parenting thing on it's head? Mothers with one, placid child - who by nature, sleeps and eats is congratulated on her "good baby" - and by extension they are seen to be good mothers. Where is the skill in that - it's just luck, really. Wheras mothers who face the biggest challenges - who have to drw on all their strengths, supports, skills are sheer grit are made to doubt themselves. You are facing some really big challenges, and you need a big pat on the back for even having the werewithall to get on BB and share your story and seek support. You wouldn't be human if you weren't a bit down at times - 4 kids with gastro would finish most of us off. You really sound like you are doing an awsome job with your little family. I hope you can get some support and maybe even a little time for yourself.
Regards
Barb
Reply With Quoteyou are not a horrible mother
and have done nothing wrong... I cant offer you anything other than another hug as i have no idea what you must be feeling
Registered User
Just need to let it out
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