I think go for it. Whatever name you pick it is unlikely he or she will never meet someone else with the same name and seeing that you are distant from one another I say why not!
I have a cousin with a son called Sage, and I really love the name. I've only ever seen the kid once when he was a baby (he's probably about 8 now I'm guessing) so I would probably be happy to use the name even though she "had it first". Unfortunately I know that my DH wouldn't like the name so it's off the list for this bubba if it's a boy.
I think considering how little contact you and your husband have with this cousin, it would be perfectly fine to use the name if you like it!! I'm having a bit of trouble with my mother atm because my husband and I have picked the name for DD2 (due in May) and it just so happens that the middle name we've chosen is the name of my mum's niece or cousin (I think it's her niece, my cousin, I'm confused haha), who she never had a good relationship with and hasn't spoken to in well over a decade. She's miffed because 'Oh that name will always remind me of my dead**** niece' but my husband and I like it and we're sticking with it, no matter what.
Maybe you could try it as a middle name instead, if that makes DH more comfortable with the idea?
I think at the end of the day, the name you choose will become your child's name and theirs alone, you and DH won't be reminded of relatives or people who have the same name because every time you hear the name, you will think of bub. I know this is true because my daughter shares a name with a girl I went to school with who was a real bully and made me miserable, but I never, ever think of her at all when I hear DD's name - it's all hers now.
My aunty named my cousin the same name as my brother (David) she did ask mum first though, we just used to call them little david and big David.
My 2nd DD has the same name as my cousin who I ma quite close to, she didn't mind at all was rather flattered actually.
I have a cousin Tim and an Uncle Tim - no big deal... Now - if I wanted to call a little girl Rylee (which I really like) I couldn't because I live with my mum and 7yr old brother called Riley! So it depends on the circumstances...
I have to say I wouldnt use it either.
My mum had my sister Samantha and then about 9months later, my aunt had he son Sam....It never did sit right with Mum and I can see why. But then again we saw them often
I was supposed to be a Louise but as my father had a cousin (a long distant never see sought of cousin) he wouldnt let mum use it lol And I am glad...there is a lot to be said for being uniquley named in a family. Then you arent just "Jane's Ellie" or "John's Ellie" you are just Ellie. iykwim.
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