I didn't change my surname when we got married. We have no boys on my side of the family and the name would go if I changed it. Having said that my sister is still not married but she would change in a heartbeat lol.

Originally I put to DH that DS use my surname as a second middle name. So in every day life he could make the choice to use but it was there on the birth certificate. I left the decision up to him as he had been great about me not changing my name he understood my reasons. PIL still say 3yrs later that I haven't had chance ROFL.When I had DS becasue I was under my name DS was called my name whilst in hospital and subsequentenly DH was as well. I think he'd had enough after 5 days ROFL. So when he said he'd just like him to have DH's surname I didn't argue.

Yeah I get some looks sometimes and if I have booked him into an activity and I call up I have to remember to say DS's surname. I sometimes feel depending on the situation that I am in that I have to explain. But generally I don't think about it.

Would you consider using your surname as a second middle name as an alternative to hypenating it?

Good Luck

Hansie