I never tell names & this ones names are a secret. The names we like are different to what my sister & brother like, so no issues there. We did have some boys names on our list when pg with DD and they have since been used by friends (they didn't know our names) or new friends we've made, their children are those names. I would be upset if someone I saw regularly used a name that I had shared, unless they said at the same time that they liked it too. I'd probably then find another backup name in case. It is really hard b/c you are going to meet someone along the way in your life that may stay in your life that has named their kids the same.... I guess that is a little different. I would have been annoyed at your cousin, especially when she said she didn't like any of them, why not just be honest and say it is on their list too?