His or my surname?

[Ashlee]

Hi all

I've recently separated with my baby's father and would like a general concencus on what you would do in my situation - give the baby (boy) his surname, or mine? My other DS has his father's surname, but we were married when we had him, so that is a bit of a different situation altogether.

It would be a terrible hyphenated surname so that option is definitely out!

Thanks!

[Amity]

Yours.

[Ashlee]

I knew you'd say that Div Love ya guts!

[Ladylove]

Most definitely yours

[feeb]

Yours

[nothing2lose]

Yours.

My DD has her biological father's surname on her birth certificate, but we use my surname (since she was two). When it comes to school, etc, it is a pain.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Personally I think it depends on the circumstances, if it were me and my children were going to see their dad & he was active in their life then I would give them his.
If he was nowhere to be seen they would get mine.


Sent from my iPhone, more than likely while I should be doing something else!

[Beatrix]

Def yours. I hate having a different name then my kids even though I was married to him


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Ginger]

I'm going to say something a bit cheeky here- which surname do you like the sound of better?

[Ashlee]

I'm going to say something a bit cheeky here- which surname do you like the sound of better?

Both of our surnames kind of suck TBH....they both don't sound any better or worse really.

[Miss.September]

Personally I think it depends on the circumstances, if it were me and my children were going to see their dad & he was active in their life then I would give them his.
If he was nowhere to be seen they would get mine.

Totally agree.

[Phteven]

Both of our surnames kind of suck TBH....they both don't sound any better or worse really.

Then go through the phone book and find one you like. Or just make one up - you could mix your names together to create a new not sucky name.
There is no reason that your child has to have the same surname as one of its parents.
Or you could give the baby the same surname as your other child.

[Jellyfish]

Yours. Doesn't really matter in my opinion if the Dad is going to be involved or not as you will be the one filling out the forms, having them on your medicare card, dealing with the school etc which to me, the practicality of it all is more important than either parent getting 'branding rights'.

My DD1 has her Dad's, it is a huge pain and something I regret. We are actually looking at getting it changed now before she starts school and her Dad agrees that it makes more sense for her to have mine. Currently myself and DP are her 'everyday' parents and it is just inconvenient that she doesn't share either of our name so 3 surnames in the household. DD1 stays with her Dad for a night a week, he is actively involved but in the end, most times when a surname is required, DP and I will be the ones standing next to her. I think a 'present' Dad is even more likely to see the benefit in giving them yours because they will want what is best and easiest for their child, at least that is the case with DD1s Dad (in that he is even comfortable with her having DPs surname which I really respect about him -- he knows being her Dad is more than a name and just wants what is best for her).

[Sopdet]

Yours

[Joeve]

Hmm my friend separated from her DH just before her bub was born she ended up using his surname because it was the same as bubs siblings. She said if that wasn't the case she would have used her maiden name as she was changing hers...

[AngelPants]

Personally I think it depends on the circumstances, if it were me and my children were going to see their dad & he was active in their life then I would give them his.
If he was nowhere to be seen they would get mine.

i tend to agree with this. tho i hated having a different name to DS before DH & I got married.

i manage ok with 2 alternative spellings of my given name. its spelt differently on my birth cert, marriage cert and medicare stuff than anything else so you can have one thing on the birth cert then something different for everyday use. or you could have your last name as a 2nd middle name? i know a few people who did this.

[Nai]

Yours!

[kristi14]

Sorry to hear of your recent seperation, i hope you are going ok, im sure its stressful at times.

It would really depend on how you feel about your ex but personally if it was amicable and i was on reasonably good terms with my ex i would give the baby his surname so that both my children had the same surname because for their sake, if they are full blood siblings then i think it would be confusing for them to have different surnames. If it was baby #1 i might have a different opinion. This is purely my opinion though.