how do you choose baby names?

[meow]

First baby we threw names around and were doing okay chatting about it. But I had a girl's name I couldn't give up on that my H didn't like. I tried to like other names but eventually I had to admit that I would be heart broken with any other girl's name and it HAD to be that name so how could we work this out. Over time my H became obsessed with a boy's name that I didn't like and he wouldn't quit on it. Even though I felt sure I was having a boy, in desperation for my girl's name I struck a deal with him that he could name a boy and I could name a girl. We just sort of half-heartedly agreed and stopped talking about it seeing we'd come to impasse.

My son was born and about 30 mins after the MWs asked what we were thinking of calling him. We looked at each other knowing that the moment of truth was there. My H said "I want to call him E". I gave one more attempt at my choice "Are you sure not J?" and he said he really wanted E. I felt weak like you so soon after birth and I agreed. I actually harboured some resentment over that as it took about 2 years for me to like my son's name and I felt betrayed that my H hadn't softened to my choice after watching me give birth.

Second baby I said "You named the first one, this name is my choice. Okay? Great!". He didn't complain and even though he said my name choice wasn't his first choice he never tried to get me to choose another name.

If we have a third I have already decided what names I want so I've run them by my H already to make sure he agrees

[JLeigh29]

With DS we started throwing around names very early on in the piece. Usually the other person would say, 'nope!' But we'd get the occasional, 'maybe...' I just kept saying, 'We'll know it when we hear it.' Then DH fell in love with a girls name that was passable, so I let him have that. We were on hols after we'd found out it was a boy, and throwing around more names - street names, famous people, names that rhyme with other names, combining two or more names - when DH suggested 'the one'. We just knew. His middle name is DH's name, a bit of a tradition on both sides. We always had the option that if we hated it when DS was here, we'd change. Not sure what to, as we had nothing else!!

This time around we're doing the same. A girl name came easily, but we won't be needing that now - I was totally in love, and the middle name had family connections too We have one boys name we keep coming back to, but we haven't made a definite choice. DS's unusual name has set a precedent too, and most names of kids I've taught are out (so take out 99% of names!). DS wants to call him Bambi, or Bob... Not sure what we'll do for middle names though...

[Liminal]

We talk about it from around 20 weeks on. We start with a long list of names that basically meet the criteria of "if we HAD to have this name, due to a curse or something, we'd be fine." We then tend to each pick out our top 10 from those. Last time there were about 4 common names on both our to 10 lists and by 35 weeks we stick with our favourite at that point so as to not have to talk about it any more.

I can imagine deciding after birth but would probably not want to decide for a few days at least. My husband was nameless for a month or so because his parents couldn't agree.