DS's middle name was going to be Paul. After MIL's brother who was killed in a car accident, & a baby she had not long after who lost his young life to SIDs. Instead though, we chose to honour FIL's middle name of Andrew instead so he will always know just how much he means to DH (he's not his biological father). Paul was decided on as a bad luck name in their family.
I see nothing wrong with it, but my preferance would be to use it as a middle name. Thats just me. I'm trying to decide on a family name myself to use for this one's middle name. I thought Ann would be good, because it was DH's sisters middle name & he never got to meet her before she died in a house fire at 12, but he doesn't agree. I have no idea what we will do.
I had another chat with dh this morning about it and it is a definate no go. Even if his granparents were to say it was ok, he still feels like it is not right. He said if it were a few generations ago he would have no hesitation, but because it is so close in time and that he feels strange about it he couldnt do it. Fair enough and the issue has been put to bed. I respect his wishes and if I go on about it I know it will make him more upset. Although it is a shame that we do both like the name!!!
If you want to do it, then definitely do it
My DS is named after my granddad, who passed away Aug '08 and I miss him every day - He's also got the same name as DHs middle name, so it's a doube meaning to his name
Hi, I think if your dh is uncomfortable with it than don't use it, there are millions of other names out there. My mum had twins, one died a few weeks after birth and the other 6 months later I couldn't imagine anyone in our family using either of their names it really is a constant reminder. When I say anyone in the family I mean all of my cousins or if any of my aunties or uncles were to use it. Mind you there are about 20 cousins and they all have 3 (some 4) kids so that's a lot of naming going on. Having said that the twins names weren't as common as Jennifer, I'm sure your DH's grandmother has met dozens of Jennifer's over the years and doesn't really think about it. I know that my mum and dad and probably my aunts and uncles would think of the twins my parents lost when they hear those names. Everyone is different though, while others may be honored to hear that name used and remembered others may just be reminded of the pain. Only you know how your family members really feel.
i have to agree with Cherished on this one minimatron. My DH has always said he would feel sad, and so would his family, if we were to use his brothers name. DH's brother passed away in his arms at 7 years old after a long battle with Leaukemia. The family find it very difficult when they hear the name and unfortunatly it is a topic very rarely spoken about due to the pain and emotion it causes, even 17 years on. i would honour Dh's wishes, as you have said you will.
all the best
I think thats why its a definate no go. Thats ok. I respect his wishes on this one and wouldnt dream of pushing it because I know it upsets him. Just means that we will take a while longer to name the baby!
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I couldn't imagine anyone in our family using either of their names it really is a constant reminder. When I say anyone in the family I mean all of my cousins or if any of my aunties or uncles were to use it. Mind you there are about 20 cousins and they all have 3 (some 4) kids so that's a lot of naming going on. Having said that the twins names weren't as common as Jennifer, I'm sure your DH's grandmother has met dozens of Jennifer's over the years and doesn't really think about it. I know that my mum and dad and probably my aunts and uncles would think of the twins my parents lost when they hear those names. Everyone is different though, while others may be honored to hear that name used and remembered others may just be reminded of the pain. Only you know how your family members really feel.
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