i have to agree with Cherished on this one minimatron. My DH has always said he would feel sad, and so would his family, if we were to use his brothers name. DH's brother passed away in his arms at 7 years old after a long battle with Leaukemia. The family find it very difficult when they hear the name and unfortunatly it is a topic very rarely spoken about due to the pain and emotion it causes, even 17 years on. i would honour Dh's wishes, as you have said you will.
all the best