Hi,

I need help urgently please! My 18 month old DD has begun tantrums for a few weeks now but they have developed and have got to a point where I'm not sure what I'm doing is actually doing anything so is making me doubt myself?? DP is usuallly at work when she 'does her thing' so he only saw one on the week-end for his first time. He reacted by yelling back which of course made her worse so I had to shut the bathroom door and hold her and as calmly as I could (my patience was VERY thin by this point) talk her down, mind you she had worked herself right up (can't even remember why now??) to that 'dry throat' cry to the point where she threw up a bit!

She is a very smart DD, she had reflux till she was 7-8 months and it's like she remembers how to throw up and our reactions that we'll do anything to stop her being sick so I'm worried that she'll now just work herself up all the time and be sick....which is more stress for me seeing it and cleaning it up.

I try to remain calm, ask her to calm down and show me or try and tell me what's wrong getting down to her level.....but it's not working as it does on 'the nanny' DD has picked up on me saying no and pointing my finger so she screams no no no pointing her finger at me. Sometimes she gets so bad that she can't be calmed down and when I try to get down at her level and 'reason' (reason with a toddler???) with her she cracks it even more as if to say 'I don't want to talk to you, don't want to see you' she walks off to another wall or corner turns her back screaming hits the wall/cupboard with open palms!! But when it's over she's back to 'normal'????

I did not 'want' a child that made an arse of me in front of friends etc and she did last night, she's a mummy's gal and wouldn't even go with DP so I could eat....wanted to drag me around the yard to see the dog/cat etc and when I wouldn't go, explaining I wanted to eat the crying & tears would start and I was embarrassed! I know she's at that age and I can't 'stop' it but I don't know what to do if I keep doing what I'm doing or if I start putting her in a 'naughty' room or something else?? I figure most of it is because she can't communicate but then I wonder....... I have ordered into the library 'the science of parenting' as recommended in another thread a while ago to someone else but what if it's all over before I read it??? Please help with suggestions on how you've dealt with this 'wonderful' age!! Thanks and sorry again for being long