I have a 3yr old (just turned 3) who has similar behaviour - everything is a stress and so tears and whiney sad voice are used alot!! So we try and encourage her to use her happy voice and no crocodile tears. When the envelope is really pushed we take away something that is really important to her which is her teddy right now. DH has also begun getting her to sit on her bed for a few minutes, maybe 5 just to give her time to compose herself. Teddy doesn't get returned when she gets off her bed though as she has to show us she can play happy etc. So teddy goes in the cupboard for different lengths of time - so however long it takes her to recover and then maybe another 5 minutes. Or if she is really trying it on for the day teddy goes away til lunch time or nap time etc.

It can be so so tiring and draining though that it is so hard not to lose my patience - but I do from time to time I'll show frustration in my voice or raise my voice which she just doesn't get!! Take the teddy away though and her world falls apart.......

re: the food thing. this isn't everyones cup of tea but whilst we won't force DD to eat something she truly doesn't like, when it becomes a battle of the wills its a simple, "oh well, never mind, mummy and daddy are going to have lunch/dinner now, you can sit and chat with us then". It seems to be that if it appears DH & I have ignored her attempt to fuss, she gets bored that she isn't getting the attention she was after and generally eats. She might try the im full, I don't like, so we'll encourage her through it and mostly everything gets eaten.........mostly But like I said, that's just what we do and its not a winner every time that's for sure!!

It does get better...............it really does!!