2 under 2 - how do you do it?

[Glamourcide]

1. How old was #1 when #2 was born?
DD1 was 3 months off her second birthday.

2. Did you get out and about straight away?
Surely did - discharged myself from hospital 9 hours after giving birth and was mopping floors and doing housework the next day Pretty sure grocery shopping happened within 3 days of giving birth, too - I hadn't planned ahead AT ALL! :/

3. Did you have set routines?
No, just kind of flew by the seat of my pants, as I do with most big things... I have terrible luck and 'best laid plans' etc, so I hate trying to work to a schedule.

4. What was your lead up attitude to 2 under 2?
Before getting pregnant, it was all about having them 'about 18 months apart' so I could be a SAHM until they went to school, and then I could get back into work, rather than going back to work then taking an extended break to be a mum again, kwim? Then, as my pregnancy neared its end... I was kind of pooping myself wondering how on earth I was going to cope! Thankfully it all worked out pretty well Even I'm surprised at how 'easy' I found it!

5. How did your 1st react to bub #2?
Pretty much love at first sight, I think... we'd tried telling her that mummy had a baby in her belly, and when she met DD2 we explained that this was the baby that had been in mummy's belly, but I don't think she really got it. She was pretty stoked to have a new baby to look at and fuss over, but soon tired of the baby getting ALL the attention and mummy always snapping at her to go amuse herself (She loves her little sister now though, I think DD2's blatant adoration for her big sister won DD1 over ).

6. Did you BF or FF and how did you find either and how did #1 react?
DD2 was BF'd until five months - and I'm very proud of myself for getting so far. I found it a total breeze once we got the hang of it (DD1 was FF'd from birth), although of course I had my moments where I considered packing it all in. DD1 got a bit frustrated that I was always sitting down feeding the baby, but she liked sitting around BFing her dollies at the same time. I did do up a few bottles of EBM so DD1 could help feed bubby and I think it aided the bonding process.

7. Did your partner help a lot and what did he/she do?
DH took a week off work, and was pretty good about taking DD1 out on errands etc so I could rest/spend alone time with bub, but not so much with the housework (and he still can't cook anything more than fried eggs and toast!). I don't mind, he is better at housework than me so when he does do it, he does a fantastic job, I was insisting I could do it all on my own and knew I had to learn to adjust before he went back to work, so it was a test for me, kwim? I passed

8. How do/did YOU feel? tired, happy, emotional?
To be honest, some days I seriously struggle. That being said, I've been diagnosed with PND ('late' onset) and have chosen not to take medication so I do have my 'battle' days - especially as DD1 is well and truly in the 'terrible twos' stage. She's very bright and needs much more stimulation than most of her peers, and I think if I'd known that, I probably would have put off having another baby until later in order to give DD1 the attention she needs. Most of the time I feel pretty good, but to be completely honest I kind of tire of having DD1 around and am glad to see her off to daycare two days a week so DD2 and I can just spend time together uninterrupted, kwim? I do love both my girls, I promise, I just find it overwhelming at times trying to juggle a velcro baby, a demanding (bored/frustrated/jealous) toddler, the housework, errands, cooking, etc etc.

9. When do you clean?
Lol when I bleeding well feel like it! Which is nowhere near as often as DH would like, but then like I said, he's good at it too so if it bothers him THAT much...
I get bursts of energy, which I try to take advantage of. The rest of the time I'm so drained after dealing with two littlies that even when they go down for sleeps, I just... SIT. And breathe. And think, 'I should be cleaning'. Mostly on weekends when I can palm the kids off on DH and get into a task without stopping and starting for bottles, drinks of water, cuddles, games and conversations about why Incy Wincy Spider doesn't like the rain.

10. When/How do you cook?
Every day. I try to get stuck into it early (around 6pm) if the baby is still having her 'afternoon' nap (sometimes she'll sleep from 3-6, then go back to bed after a bath at 8:30), but most nights I don't really start cooking until 7:30ish and I just have to hand the kids to DH and demand that he keep them sorted until dinner's ready.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Your all doing an amazing job... i wish i could print this out and show everyone that i am not odd for having energy and being able to get out of the house with 2 little ones... lol

I am glad to see there are people taking a look that are GOING to have 2 under 2, i hope we can be of some help to you guys.
Are there any other questions anyone would like added to the list, anything that might help you in the future?

Keep the responses coming, i am enjoying having a read!

I keep getting the supermum comment too but have said the same as most of you... you adapt to the situation your in, i have more energy than i ever did with DD1 (benefits of teething toddlers i think )

[MrsFabuloso]

1. How old was #1 when #2 was born?

16mths

2. Did you get out and about straight away?

No I still don't often go out with the kids on my own. It scares me to think I might lose one of the. My children are runners and have no problem with being far away from me!

3. Did you have set routines?

Dinner/bath/bed time routine for DD was important in the early days. I tried to keep that routine all the time to try to maitain the 'normalcy' of the day for her a bit! And also because bed time was the only definate time I sat with her and her alone to read a few books and be with her alone. Same as having a bath with her occaisionally if DH was home to be with DS. I would jump in the bath and just be with her.

4. What was your lead up attitude to 2 under 2?

I was petrified! DS was an unexpected pg, so I was surprised. Although we did plan to have another, we didn't plan on it quite so soon after having DD!

5. How did your 1st react to bub #2?

She dotes on him, he adores her. When he was little we had a few times wehre she was a bit too rough, but she learnt pretty quickly what she could or couldn't do with him. Now they're best buddies. I love watching their relationship grow. They still have their times when they encroach on each others space, but what siblings don't?!!

6. Did you BF or FF and how did you find either and how did #1 react?

I am bfing. DD was great with it. She actaully started to want booboo again too. But she had no idea how to attach and actually suckle, but I would let her cuddle up to me/us and have a go. She stopped it after a while. She would often just sit next to me and stroke his head, so sweet!

7. Did your partner help a lot and what did he/she do?

YES!! He was sooo good. He would help cook before he went to work, let me sleep when he could, got up to DD through the night if he wasn't working the next day (and sometimes even if he was).He'd bath the kids when he could, dress them, tend to them, help me tidy up. He still does. I would have gone nuts if he hadn't helped me.

8. How do/did YOU feel? tired, happy, emotional?

All of the above! In the early days it was really tough. Both of the kids didn't sleep well, heck they still don't some nights (last night I was up 4 times....or was it 5??). But now I have them, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love them being close in age. My brothers and I are 8and 9yrs apart, and I never really had a relationship with them. Because they're so claose in age, my kids will always be friends I think!

9. When do you clean?

Clean, what's that?? When DS was having 2-3 sleeps a day I would do bits then. DD could help with some stuff, or she was just happy to potter about in her own in the quiet! My house was never really 'clean', but it was managable. Now they sleep at the same time in the day, if I'm not working I clean then, if I'm working I do it at night while they're asleep. Or with things they can help with I do it with them.

10. When/How do you cook?

When DS was tiny, only when DH was around. I would make extra and plan it so I didn't have to cook without his help with the kids, or him cooking for us. Now the kids are older, they sometimes 'help'. I give them bits of raw carrot/frozen peas/corn....and a bowl and spoon/fork. DD loves this. DS is not as interested yet though. But he will play for a while on his own now, so I can get a quick meal doen without too much fuss usually. Or I give them playdough/drawing to keep them occupied for a while til I am finished.


Things do get sooo much easier as bub gets older. Now DS is 18mths old, it's plain sailing for me. I can do most things without too much fuss. When he was little, until he was about 10ish-mths, I really struggled to be honest. But now its all good!

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

any more... any other questions you want answered?

[Just Me]

1. How old was #1 when #2 was born? 12 months, 3 weeks - DD2 is 15 months younger than DS so I am still juggling 2 under 2

2. Did you get out and about straight away? Yep - I bought a baby capsule for DS and it is a Godsend! I use it for DD2 now. It fits in the top of our pram so if I am going out, I put DD2 to sleep in it and then when we leave, I just have to put the capsule in the car. It also means that when I am juggling lots of kids, I can put the capsule down on the footpath while I get the other kids in the car. Our capule has rockers on the bottom so I don't have to take anything else with me for DD2 to sit in, she just has that and I can rock it with my foot if she gets unsettled. If she falls asleep while we are out, I put her in her capsule and I don't wake her getting in and out of the car. It is also safe so if I have to put her down and deal with one of my other kids, it is a safe place to put her. It also fits in the top of shopping trolleys and grips on. My baby capsule is a life saver!

3. Did you have set routines? Kind of - I know this might not be everybody's cup of tea but daytime naps are sacred. I plan my whole day around both of them (and now 3 of them) sleeping at the same time. It sometimes means the older ones get pushed through for a little bit longer so that they all sleep at the same time. Newborns need to sleep when they need to sleep so I work my day around that.

4. What was your lead up attitude to 2 under 2? Fear and excitement

5. How did your 1st react to bub #2? She was too young to notice in lots of ways. DD1 had only just started walking when DS was born. Slowly over time they started to notice each other and now they play together all the time. We never had any issues with them initially, but now they are biting and hitting and fighting all the time. I often have to give them playtime by themselves if it gets too much, but they soon miss each other and play nicely again.

6. Did you BF or FF and how did you find either and how did #1 react?I BF DS until he was 5 months old (which was an achievement for me after DD1 - whole other story). She was fine. I put on a DVD and sat her next to me on the couch. Now when I feed DD2 (she is 15 months younger than DS), DS and DD1 just play somewhere I can keep an eye on them and entertain each other. DD1 often pulls out her doll and feeds her doll at the same time as me (though she feeds her doll from her belly button).

7. Did your partner help a lot and what did he/she do? I relied/rely very heavily on DH. He has changed his work hours so he is gone from 8am to 4pm because the afternoons are the most difficult time. Mornings tend to be great so I can manage well on my own. He comes home from work and we just get what needs to be done done - making dinner, cleaning up from dinner, bathing the kids, putting them to bed - whichever one of us is available just does whatever we need to do to get the kids fed, bathed and in bed. Him coming home at 4pm usually means that he gets to play with the kids for an hour or so before the evening rush starts. We also often sit down for a cup of coffee when he comes home from work - need the caffeine hit to get us through the next mad hours

8. How do/did YOU feel? tired, happy, emotional? I was really tired for the first 3 months after having each of my babies ... I think it is just newborn territory. After 3 months, my newborns seems to settle down and while they are still waking 1 - 2 times during the night for a feed, they are much faster at it and I just put them in bed with me to feed so I don't really wake up. Sometimes I have fallen asleep and woken up an hour later to find DD2 still sucking. She's happy and I was sleeping so it works well. Because I try to get them down for their daytime naps all at the same time, I usually get a rest in the afternoons for at least an hour. I had one week where they all slept at least 2 and a half hours for 4 out of the 5 weekdays ... it was amazing.

9. When do you clean? DH and I clean on weekends and we do it together or whoever is free. We try to mop while the kids are sleeping otherwise one of us stays in the playroom with them while the other mops the rest of the house. I vacuum throughout the week because of all the food on the floor. I usually spend 20 mins right after breakfast whipping around with the vacuum cleaner maybe 2 to 3 times a week. We have tiles because NQ is hot and not many houses have carpet everywhere anymore here.

10. When/How do you cook? DH and I take it in turns or whoever has the energy. If I get a chance through the day, I often put on a slow cooker meal. I often make the kids morning tea and lunch when I get a chance in the morning and put it in the fridge. Sometimes, they eat at different times depending on when they wake up from their naps and I find making lunch twice a pain so I make their lunches and put them in the fridge.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

1. How old was #1 when #2 was born? 12 months, 3 weeks - DD2 is 15 months younger than DS so I am still juggling 2 under 2

Wow, well done, would you ever change the 12mth age gap? my brother was born 4 days before my 1st birthday, i don't know how mum did it.

Just found out my cousin is 3mths PG, her 3rd child is only 4mths old

[Just Me]

I absolutely adore having them so close. I think I have managed to avoid dealing with other issues of having an older toddler and newborn at the same time though it does bring other issues with it. Every age gap is going to have it's pros and cons but it works well for us.

[*Infinity*]

Well ladies, I am taking copious notes right now. Just found out I'm UTD so we'll have somewhere between 15-16 months between DS and his soon-to-be younger sibling

But to tell you the truth, I'm really excited!

[Glamourcide]

^ Lol my friend's two girls are just under a year apart I imagine it's great for most of the time, but as the girls get older, they get nastier with each other and fight like cat and dog over EVERYTHING... But that being said, my brother and I were three years apart and still struggle to speak civilly to each other so I don't think fighting with siblings has much to do with age gaps I love having mine close together for the friendship they will share as they get older, I don't think I could have handled having them any closer though lol, purely for my body and mental state going through pregnancy, birth and raising two babies kwim?

[*Infinity*]

I keep reminding myself about how many comments I'm going to get from probably well meaning (but ignorant) friends & family about being totally mad for having our kids so close together. But you know what....I think that mythical 'ideal' age gap is just that....a total myth. I know that DS and his brother or sister will probably have days where they scratch each other's eyes out and all the rest of it, but I'm sure there will be the same amount of days (and hopefully years as they grow up together) that they'll be best of mates, I guess I look on the optimistic side. Like you Glamourcide, I don't think age difference really has that much to do with siblings building a strong bond.

I know I'll have a lot on my plate, no doubt about it. But I figure that would be the case if our kids were 18 months, 2, 3 or 4 years apart IYKWIM?

[SammyRo]

Great thread!! Some fantastic tips - I'm on the last countdown to 2 under 2, and I range from being excited to OMG! what am I doing, so its great to read how others cope!

Infinity - I think you're spot on - every age gap will have its pro's and cons. Its not as though challenges are limited to toddlers! Tweens, teens and pretty much every age in between is tough and each stage have their own issues, so if you're juggling these and a nb, its going to be full on.

BTW, you all sound like your doing a great job - I'm just that I can cope as well!

[Party-of-five]

1. How old was #1 when #2 was born? 17months

2. Did you get out and about straight away?God no...i havent been out of the house alone with the kids yet and DD2 is 4 weeks old lol

3. Did you have set routines?nope

4. What was your lead up attitude to 2 under 2?i was packing my dacks

5. How did your 1st react to bub #2? the first thing she did was show DD2 the knife from her plastic picnic set

6. Did you BF or FF and how did you find either and how did #1 react?FF DD1 was down to one bottle a day but since Milly has come along she wants more bottles

7. Did your partner help a lot and what did he/she do? DH has helped heaps...he kind of did everything with dd1 for the first 2 weeks like all nappies and baths etc

8. How do/did YOU feel? tired, happy, emotional? tired happy and extreamly emotional

9. When do you clean? i dont the house is a mess

10. When/How do you cook? we are living off casaroles and other stuff i can prepared during the day when DD's are sleeping

[ElleJay]

I don't know how you guys do it.

Hats off to you guys.

I agree!

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

[alioops]

1. How old was #1 when #2 was born? 15.5 months

2. Did you get out and about straight away? I cant remember but I think so, I was too bored at home

3. Did you have set routines? Yes but looking back I can see that I should have just followed my instincts

4. What was your lead up attitude to 2 under 2? I was scared ****less!!! DD2 was a surprise baby and I was not ready for 2, but once I got used to the idea I calmed down and accepted it

5. How did your 1st react to bub #2? She got pretty jealous, But DD2 was sick and cried all the time so I couldn't spend much time with DD1

6. Did you BF or FF and how did you find either and how did #1 react? Attempted BF for the first 5 weeks, then hospitalised and formula fed

7. Did your partner help a lot and what did he/she do? I married Mr Perfect. If it needed to be done he did it. He was a big help.

8. How do/did YOU feel? tired, happy, emotional? Exhausted. Completely Exhausted. A bit guilty too because DD2 was not growing.

9. When do you clean? Whenever I can. Sleep times are the best, or when DH got home he would take them for a walk, or I would take them for a walk while he cleaned

10. When/How do you cook? I used to cook when DH got home so he could entertain the girls. Now I cook a big batch of whatever the meal plans are and freeze them. We also have the bigger meal at lunch so they can have a bath without getting too excited at bed time.

[sleepyljm]

Hi All,

ill be paying close attention to this forum as my babies will be 15 months apart.

Im wondering what pram did you ladies pick for your newborn and toddler?

[NaeNae]

you ladies are amazing,

was it easier with the second newborn because you kinda had an idea of how thing went or was it just as/more difficult as the first time round because you had two??

What happens when your home alone and one is crying relentlessly and the other is doing your head in and you feel like your going to throttle them both???

weird q's I know but I am curious

Nae x

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

NaeNae - they are not odd Q's at all.
I found the newborn stage a lot easier this time round, i was a lot more relaxed as i had more of an idea of things.. you still get a little nervous but it kinda feels easier.

I have found DD1 wants my attention more when i am NOT feeding DD2, maybe she thinks well your mine now... BUT saying that DD2 always seems to want to feed as i am getting DD1 to bed or doing dinner.
I have found sometimes if DD2 is beside herself i delay putting DD1 down until DD2 has settled in her swing etc, IF however it's feed time i figure it's worse to put DD1 off for another 3-45min so i just let DD2 go until DD1 is down.
To tend to gauge the urgency of each child and work from there

Oh and if it helps DD1 has been teething, i have mastered the art of feeding DD2 while cuddling and patting DD1 to sleep, you also get used to carrying 2 children at once while feeding or opening doors etc

As there is only 15mths b/w the girls i don't think DD1 is jealous as such which has made life easier