Hi Saramac,
We've had similar problems in the past. I think it's mostly a phase they go through. Our DD has changed her sleeping habits/night routine a few times gradually. Only advice I can offer is that you don't fall into the trap of doing more and more things to get them to go to sleep. It's so easy to do and can become a nightmare. We started to do it (things that she wanted us to do, stay in room etc etc) but ended up standing firm and saying no to her requests and just saying it's time for sleep and walking out. She'd have a bit of a fuss but we just went in every 5min or there abouts to quickly reassure her and eventually she'd drop off to sleep. I also found by explaining things in detail (why it's time for sleep and how night time is when everybody goes to sleep etc) she'd be more accepting of staying in her room quietly until she fell asleep.
We also have to keep the hallway light on and the door 'whole open' she calls it. She has in the past tried to get us to stay in the room by constantly asking for us to tuck her in, pick up teddy, give her a drink, go to the toilet, read me another book etc, but it's all a seek for attention and because she doesn't want it to be dark etc.
Stay firm, give them reassurance but try not to make the time you spend in / around their room longer each time - it will quickly become 20min then, 1hr etc. We went through a tough patch when she was a bit younger with this and were spending hours trying to get her to go to sleep.
Anyway, sorry for my carry-on. Good luck. The only other thing we do is turn the TV on for a bit of background noise (drifts through to her room), and we continue to talk (between hubby and I) so she knows that we're still around as the lounge is not far from her bedroom.
Oh, the other thing I was going to say; we recently purchased one of those wall kiddy-shaped lights from Ikea - we got her to pick which shape she wanted and she was very excited about having it in her room and being able to have it on at night time. So you could try that approach. They are great little lights and don't get hot to touch so are pretty safe as long as you explain that they can't pull at the cord and have it secured to the wall. We also have it so she can't access the power point as it's covered by a little bookcase.


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. She has in the past tried to get us to stay in the room by constantly asking for us to tuck her in, pick up teddy, give her a drink, go to the toilet, read me another book etc, but it's all a seek for attention and because she doesn't want it to be dark etc.

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