Thank you so much girls for letting me get that off my chest. I went back to bed so much more relaxed (in time for DD to wake & want feeding!). Then we both (eventually) fell asleep til 8 which was lovely.

I was elated when I actually got her to fall asleep this morning (only 20 min, but that's still better than not) by staying relaxed & having a back-up plan if it didn't work.

When she did wake I took her out for a walk - I just love walking & it keeps me sane, but I haven't done it much because I've been waiting to be less sleep deprived. After your encouragement, have decided to walk every day no matter how I feel. It also kept Ella entertained for a while. She was asleep with her eyes open the poor kid, but at least she & I were both happy.

I used all your suggestions today! We called MIL who was so happy to help - I think she's been waiting to be asked, so not just good for me, but good for Ella & good for family relationships all round. She & FIL did heaps to help, not least cuddling DD who really was quite grumpy by then. MIL sent us off to bed this arvo & did a few more things. Just good to have someone else there really.

Have rung CHN & had a good talk with one of the nurses, explaining that I don't really think it's (severe) PND, but lots of stress/anxiety (which I do need to get better at handling) because of all the things going on, and that what I need right now is help to figure out what to do with Ella. She was very helpful, affirming & gave a few more good suggestions & encouragement. I really do live in an area of an amazing local health system.

I can't thank you enough for giving me some tips on some good coping strategies. I'm thinking of sticking them over the cot so when I start getting sterssed about not-sleeping I don't feel so hemmed in.
I really appreciate the good feedback about Karitane. They say they don't do controlled crying any more, but I was still a little nervous, so it's great to hear a good report. Even if I just get a little bit of a break that will help.

Thank you again girls, I just can't tell you how much reading your posts this morning helped to change the course of today!