I should add that as Kaz points out having "rules" might not be your parenting style and that's of course fine... DD still wakes overnight, maybe just 2 or 3 nights a week, but if she wakes and is in pain or upset, I will still go to her. I just soothe her, shhh her, tell her its ok, its time for sleeping, whatever works.

I only use the "What's our rule?" line for when I know she is just pushing the boundaries. Last night she woke and came out, crying and saying she had an ow, DH just picked her up, gave her a cuddle, snuggled her back in bed, she cried and said she wanted him in her bed, he lay down with her for a while, she went to sleep and he came back to bed.

So we don't try and force it on her if she's genuinely upset or anxious, does that make sense?

If she is screaming and crying hysterically for one of us, we don't ignore her. So I've tried to find a balance between having the Rule and also still meeting her needs. Hope that makes sense.

This works for us when she is being a highly-independent, strong-willed 2.5yo. When she is my upset baby girl, well then we use something else