Anxiety about SIDS illogical?

[Amaunet]

My little man is 2 months tomorrow and a few nights ago I gave myself a scare when I woke up and couldn't hear him breathing - he was just in a deep sleep - but his little check felt quite cool and I honestly (just for a second) thought he had died. I snatched him up, realised he was warm and he squirmed - panic over. But since then I have this fear and preoccupation with the possibilty of SIDS. I have reached over my shoulder into his capasule to check he is still alive and stopped the pram and lifted the shade to check - he is just so STILL and has very pale skin normally and I keep scaring myself. I also keep thinking of an article in a parenting mag where a mum talked about her sids experience (waking and finding her child in his bassinette).

Am I being silly - its really starting to stress me out - I cam crying as I type this - I am worried I am having a "premonition" or something.

I follow ALL the sids n kids recommendations but can't use my angel care mon in my bassinette or my bedroom as the traffic on the main road affects the perfomance.

Is this normal?

[KatieRabbit]

Sorry to hear that you have not having an easy time. SIDS is a worry for all parents I am sure but as long as you are taking the appropriate measures which you are, then there is less to worry about.
I just wanted to let you know my experience. When DD was born something inside me turned on major protection mode and I was worried day and night about all sorts of scenarios about losing her- even her falling into the toilet (and no, that's not funny!). And I had many horrid dreams too about something awful happening to her. I couldn't watch the news or read about anything at all happening to children. I think you will find, as I did, that this is all quite common and happens to others to. It took a while for me to overcome this and I think it was mostly time and talking about it to others who understand. But it was way past 2 months when I stopped my thinking- but it was not pleasant at all. Just wanted you to know that I understand.....If it gets too much, have a word to your GP about it.

[Lilly-Pilly]

Controlfreak - love the name!
I was exactly the same. I'm not kidding, it wasn't til DD was 9 months old that i could actually sleep through the night without waking and and checking her. There were at least three or four times in the first couple of months where i actually grabbed her out of the bassinette and woke her cause i couldnt feel or hear her breathing.
For some reason I felt like everything was too perfect and that something would go wrong.
DD is about to turn 8 next month, and is a health little chicken. So I know how you felt, i was shocking with it, but no premenition or indication of something to go wrong, just the usualy mother child bond as strong as ever, worrying about your little one! It will get easier, and you'll become more relaxed, only to move on to the next stage and age and worry about something else!!

Take care

[Amaunet]

Thanks so much for your replies ladies - I don't know what i'd do without bellybelly!

KatieRabbit and Dee - thanks for your support and understanding - it means so much to me and is sooo appreciated.


Santosha - those stats sound good - no smoking here and DS is a "picture of health" accrding to the paed I saw today (except his hip - a whole other thread )

Brontide - Thanks for the hug! he is in a bassinette at the end of my bed until 6am when hubby vacates and Blake moves in - we are both heavy sleepers overnight and don't feel safe to co-sleep. Blake will soon be too big for his bass tho (hes growing REALLY fast) and go to his own room. At least then I can use the angelcare mon for some added peace of mind - but I love having him close so am conflicted about this.

Time to stop stressing and go to bed - and have faith that he will be ok!

Thanks again ladies - may you (and your children) have the sweetest of dreams.

[Amaunet]

For some reason I felt like everything was too perfect and that something would go wrong.

Yup - this is EXACTLY how I feel!

[mumzy]

We all get over protective and worried about our bubs I think.
I remember doing the 'are they still breathing?' check all the time HEHE
Its a mum thing

If he is growing big so fast, sounds like you have a healthy boy there, who is getting he well needed (restless) sleep. Wait till he figures out rolling and giving you more to worry about when sleeping in his cot.....the joys of motherhood.

Congratulations, sounds like you are a very loving and caring mummy

[Twin Sister]

I went through the same thing. I was constantly checking to make sure DS was still breathing and I was always having bad dreams about losing him and waking in a panic. He slept in a bassinett for as long as he would fit it and hten movied into a playpen at the foot of our bed. I just couldnt' sleep well with im in his room, i needed him to be in the same room as me. DS is now alsmost two and i still check on him in the middle of the night if I get up to pee. Don['t worry though, the panic lessesns over time and it gets easier.

[Santosha]

Hun, I totally understand how you feel. It's so scary that a phenomenon exists that we can't control that means that our precious little people could be taken just like that. I too have 'the horrors' sometimes where I find myself imagining going in to find my little one blue. It terrifies me.

I wish I could help more. I do find it some reassurance that even though it still happens, research and prevention has come a long way from hundreds of babies being lost each year, to last year (according to my MCHN) 'only' 16 in Australia. Of these, all but one was associated with a known risk factor - smoking inside the home, tummy-sleeping, loose bedding etc.

I know... 'only' is not the appropriate term. Each was a little life and an enormous loss to a poor family. But these stats did help me to know that it is VERY rare and that if you follow guidelines, your little one is very safe.

When I get anxious, I try to just work on acceptance. Fighting anxiety only seems to make it stronger. So I just tell myself that it's ok to feel this way for now. It's just a bodily sensation... they're just thoughts... it's not real... and it will pass.

Hugs to you hun.

[Phteven]

I had a big scare once too and I didn't sleep well for a long time.
Does he sleep in your room or in your bed? Would you feel more at peace if he slept closer to you for a while?