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Thread: Babies Close Together

  1. #1

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    Default Babies Close Together

    DH has always wanted twins. I want to get pg again in about Jan/Feb 06 which will be about 6 months after Amy's birth but DH is now saying he only wants Amy and no more.

    Tonight he said that if we have another, I would have to get pg next month as he would like them to be in the same grade at school. So that is the offer...pg next month or not at all. Even I think that having babies this close is a little weird. There are no guarantees that I would be pg and it is quite unlikely really. I ovulated and AF returned a few weeks ago, and I got pg on the first attempt last time so who knows?



    So what do you think? How close is too close? Maybe he will change his mind and we will have another with a bit more of a gap...

  2. #2

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    WOW Gemma I still can even conceive of thinking about number 2. I guess its when you are ready for it. When you can imagine having two then you are ready. I've never thought that there is a too close or too far thing, because every family is different & it depends on what you can handle. For a while there I thought that having two together would minimise our time awake in the middle of the night...but the work emotionally and physically that has been Matilda's first year I don't think I could have done while PG....

    So I don't have an answer for you, but what is best for you & your family. Remember that it isn't your DH that will be PG but you and things like m/s are different for every PG.

    I wish you best for your decisions

  3. #3

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    Gemma we are trying now as I want top get this whole baby thing out of the way sooner rather than later!!
    It certainly depends on the family, and if you have a good support network, I can't see the problem.

    Maybe a trip to the GP to ensure you are right to go another round?

    LOL on the twins shannon - that is my worst fear!! Imagine if I had 3 under 2? ARGH!!!!!

    Fi

  4. #4

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    Wow that is a bit rough Gemma! Your the one who has to carry the baby not him!! What if you don't cycle next month? What if you don't cycle for a few months!?
    I have to admeit I wanted Emily and Violet to be closer in age, but that didn't pan out, I didn't start cycling until Emily was about 6mo, and even then my cycles were really long.
    Also I have read that studies into pregnacies really close together (b4 the baby is 6mo) there can be a risk of premature birth, miscarrage and I think maybe birth defects (not sure, maybe do a search)... so if you don't want to be pg again so soon... use these findings to your advantage

    Tanya

  5. #5
    Debbie Lee Guest

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    Gemma - I hope you DH isn't under the impression that the kids will be put in the same class?? Most schools I know separate siblings and other family members because it can create a conflict of interest in the classroom (they will even split up twins). So, even if they are able to be in the same year level, the school would be against them being in the same grade (unless it's a really small school that has no choice).
    In saying that, wishing you all the best for a speedy BFP! You are a braver woman than I!!

  6. #6

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    gemma, this must be really tough on you. maybe he really does want a second, but this is his way of getting number 2 sooner? iykwim? like he would wait if he had to, but is trying to put out an altimatim so that he gets things when he wants them?

    i dont know if that makes sense, but i imagine that if he originally wanted twins, he will come around even if it takes a while,

    all the best.

    Linda

  7. #7

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    Gemma

    As the other girls have said, I think you should go with what's right for you and your family.

    Having said that, your body is only just recovering from Amy's birth!! I think that many doctors recommend atleast 9 months between children (ie birth to conception).

    Anyway, best of luck, I hope that you work things out!

  8. #8
    Tigergirl1980 Guest

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    As I said in the other thread, I think you should do what's best for you and your body. If you feel that you're not ready, then more than likely you aren't. You shouldn't push yourself to do something that you don't feel that you are ready for and I think it's very infair and selfish of your DH to give you an ultimatum like that, how would he feel if something bad happened to you or the new baby because you got pregnant again so early? I agree that maybe you should go to your GP or OB and discuss it with them and see what they say, if they say it's not a good idea now because a,b and c could happen, maybe that might change your DH's mind, maybe even get him to go with you so he can hear it from the horses mouth.

    But please do what you think is best for you, it would be so horrible if doing it made you unhappy, sick or stressed.

  9. #9

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    Thanks everyone for your replies.

    We have had another talk tonight and discussed the pros and cons. DH said that he doesn't want me to agree if I wasn't ready. I actually really wanted to get pg 2 days after having Amy as I had a fantastic pg. So I will go and get checked out, get my bloods done and talk with my Ob. If medically I am okay we will start TTC next month. Emotionally and financially we are good.

    DH has done the night feeds since Amy was born and I have slept though almost every night. I may be going back to work next month and DH will be a SAHD and it will be the same with the next one. He really looks after Amy 50% of the time so it has been a breeze for me. I didn't have much milk (because of a breast reduction) and Amy has been on formula so my body hasn't been under stress from bf. I just started taking folate again tonight.

  10. #10

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    I hope everything works out the way you want it to Gemma. Even though Blake doesn't yet sleep through and he's fully b/f, I'd love to have another. Whether we do or not is another question (we didn't think we could have him, so we never even imagined a third.) Guess that's something we have to think and talk about.

    I hope the Doctor gives you 'clearance'.

  11. #11

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    Gemma - Mark and I are TTC #2 at the moment, I want Matthew and his brother/sister close together but you have to do what`s right for you.

    Good Luck Gemma and I might see you over at the TTC thread

    Take Care

    Deeanne

  12. #12

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    Kate - I rang my Ob today and he said 'it's best to wait 6 months' because the uterus hasn't gone back to normal and there is an increased chance of placenta previa.

    We are still looking into it as we are both really keen but not if there is a risk to me or baby.

  13. #13

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    Gemma did you have a c/s? When I was looking at TTC we were told to wait at least 12 mths after the first for the next to be born, and preferably 12 mths from birth to conception. There have been some horror stories of organs growing onto the scar when it hasn't had time to heal properly and another incision is made in the same spot over a short period of time. Who knows they may have found a way to overcome this but I'd want to get that checked out too. My other concern would be how it would affect the children emotionally. Imagine having a brother or sister in your year that was younger than you and did better iykwim. I dunno there's lots of reasons for me to want to wait. But if its something you are both for then thats great. Goodluck.

    *hugs*
    Cailin

  14. #14

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    Gemma - I find that interesting what your OB mentioned to you as my OB had the opposite thoughts. At my post natal check up at 8.5 weeks after birth, my OB mentioned my uterus was back and down to the size it was before conception and I asked him how long do we have to wait after a c/s before we can conceive again (Mark and I had read in a magazine you have to wait 12 months which we mentioned to OB his words were "What rubbish, conceive when your ready just not within the first 6 weeks as the uterus needs to go back - which of course I was over this stage.

    It goes to show how all OB`s have different opinions, my OB has been practicing for the last 30 plus years so I`m going to be guided by him.

    Good Luck Gemma

    Take Care

    Deeanne

  15. #15

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    Went to see a GP today to ask his opinion and he said 12 months. He asked what my Ob said and I told him 6 months so he changed to 6 months too. I did get my blood test request done for a full blood exam, iron, B12 & folate and I am still taking folate.

    I am going to phone my Ob tomorrow and discuss with him. I only spoke to the receptionist with the message passed on from him but I want to know the actual risks.

    Surely there are others that have had their kids close. I have been reading lots on the net and there are some advantages like they will be good friends. Just bought Mother & Baby mag and read the story about quads conceived naturally to DH...probably not such a good idea!

    Will keep you posted, we are both keener than ever but still need medical clearance.

  16. #16

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    Gemma - Good Luck, I hope your OB tells you it`s ok to start TTC now.

    That`s exactly why I want Matthew and his sibling close together to be good friends but if I hadn`t seen Michael and Alister`s bond my mind would have been totally different in the way I`m thinking.

    As for other women with children close together as I said Michael and Alister are only 14.5 months apart, OB advised Mark`s x to TTC again when she was having problems with the pill and this was after a very difficult long labour with Michael, she even tore as far as she could and lost a lot of blood yet OB still encouraged her to TTC soon afterwards.

    I also know of another lady who`s children are 12 months and 3 weeks apart, again both have a close bond - brother and sister.

    So yes there are women out there with children close together, I`m thinking of you and really hoping that your OB gives you some advice.

  17. #17

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    Thanks Dee, it's good to hear of others that have done it. Have an appointment with OB on 22/9 and AF arrived today so O should be about 20/9. Will have to try to get another appointment before O. EDD 1/6/06 if we conceive this month...Is really soon after Amy's birth so it may be too soon?

  18. #18

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    My sister and i are 10 months apart - yep, she was conceived when i was 6 weeks old !!!!. We are close now, i started school when i was 4 and she started school when she was 6, so we were in separate years.

    I personally dont know how mum did it - my worst nightmare really......

    But good luck anyway...

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