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Thread: bonding issues??

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    between the mountain & the ocean

    Default bonding issues??

    i have read alot of threads on bellybelly about mums enjoying snuggling with their babies, and taking them everywhere with them etc etc..

    my problem is, my ds doesn't seem to enjoy being cuddled for too long, he starts getting restless and crys after about 15 minutes.

    I dread taking him to the shops or friends places because he will cry and scream because he can't sleep in his basinette.

    He won't just fall asleep in my arms or anywhere else but his basinette.

    I also have 2 slings that i put him in, but that only lasts 1/2 hour and he get cranky and starts trying to kick his way out and cries

    what am i doing wrong that makes him not want to be cuddled for long.. i would cuddle him all day if i could but he just doesn't seem to like it... also, how can i get him to just sleep anywhere?

    I wanted to go to mother group but have avoided going because i know he will just cry and winge when he gets tired and bored.

    this is making me very upset at times because i feel i am doing something wrong.. or don't really know what i'm doing.

    does anyone else have these problems?

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Mar 2007


    hun some babies just dont like being in slings. maybe he finds you too hot. i dont like cuddling DH when it is hot because I overheat easily. DD1 hated the sling too

    do you have a bassinet for your pram? can he try to sleep in the pram? our bassinet looks similar to our bassinette from inside so DD2 had no issues with it. maybe there is something that you do or he does everytime he goes to sleep in his bassinette that he associates with sleep and needs as a comforter? Dont worry hun, you are doing a great job. try asking your MCHN about sleep issues and they might send you to sleep school. also sometimes when babies cry before going to sleep it is them settling. if he is clean and fed and you have done everything he might need then there is not a lot you can do and he may just need to cry. it is his way of protesting and the only language he knows.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Jan 2006


    Sirenz my first boy did fall asleep anywhere but absoltely hated being cuddled to sleep. He didn't like anyone or anything "in his face" when he was tired, and even as a little one would literally turn away from me when I put him in his cot. I really worried he was autistic or something, he was so "anti-social" as a newborn. But he is fine now and really affectionate. Every bub is different, maybe yours is just a sleepy bub who gets overstimulated easily, like my first one was?

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Oct 2006


    Like the girls say, all bubs are different, dont let him getting a little upset stop you from going out and about. You need to get out for your sanity too! My son lasted in the sling only a while too then when he was old enough we swapped to a baby bjorn and he LOVED it, can see what is going on etc. As for bonding, i took a while to bond with my son too after a horrendous birth, but it comes in time, just go with it and let it happen, he is adjusting to you too, trust me, it will happen eventually so go easy on yourself and focus on you and bubba not other people.

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Aug 2007


    Oliver is a bit hit and miss with the sling - sometimes he loves it, snuggles in and goes to sleep, and other times he cracks it and screams until you take him out. I think it just depends on his mood.

    Don't worry about your baby cracking it at mother's group - I went on Tuesday for the first time and pretty much every baby cried at some point. Its expected. If it gets too hard you can always excuse yourself and leave, noone will think badly of you.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    the mulberry bush



    my little girl hated being cuddled, still does on most occassions... she screams and squirms and behaves as if i am trying to suffocate her or something... now at 11 months she allows me to cuddle her before bed and even falls asleep in my arms.... no more squirming or resisting... she sometimes rests her head on my chest.... it is the best feeling in the world after months of no physical closeness... but its only after her bath before she hops in bed, but its my favorite time of day. bliss.

    be patient i reckon he'll come round....

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Funky Town, Vic


    My ds was the same, all I wanted to do was smooch but he hated it. He was (and still is) really easily overwhelmed, he didn't like the in your face stuff either .

    He is the BEST smoochy cuddler now though.

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