Bub not sleeping at night

[Ngala]

Hi all,

New mum after some advice!!

My lil girl is 5 days old today and she has only really had 1 good night sleeping, that was day 2 in hospital. We got to go home on day three...

DD sleeps perfectly through the day but when midnight rolls around she cant seem to settle. She seems to always be hungry and she has a bit of wind. I cant tell the difference between wind and hunger at the moment, so if she doesnt settle, I give her the breast....

This has been our past 24 or so hours..

10pm (thurs) - 4am (fri) : very unsettled, feeding every hour or so to settle, wet and dirty nappies
8.30am : breast fed
10am : breast fed
2.30pm : breast fed only 5 mins and asleep right away
6.30pm : Bath and dirty nappy
7.20pm : breast fed 20 mins
11.30pm : wet nappy
11.40pm : breast fed 20 mins
1.50am (sat) : breast fed 15 mins
2.20am: unsettled
2.50am : breast fed 15 mins
3.20am : dirty nappy
4.15am : breast fed 15 mins
5am : still unsettled after burps etc

Right now i am holdng her and she is fast asleep.

So what do you think? Is this the normal pattern of a newborn bub or am I feeding her too much or not helping her relieve her wind??

Also, she likes sucking on her thumb and I think that she wants to feed for the comfort, so can newborn bubs suck dummies or will it interfer with the breast feeding?? The last thing I want is to interfer with her breast feeding but if it will comfort her and get her to sleep at night.... just not sure what to do!!

(there were dirty and wet nappies before 6.30pm, but dont remember when cause thats when i just started recording..)

[Snacks]

Veronica. It is all a guessing game... Sounds like she is having her longer sleep time (I'm assuming btwn feeds she's asleep) in the day, like Barb mentioned in another of your posts, which is very hard for you. Barb also said babies don't know the difference btwn night and day, which I definitely found to be true! After a while she worked it out.
I don't know about the wind, but it doesn't sound to me that you are feeding too much... JMO tho.
Re the dummy, people say it can interfere with b/feeding... However, we gave Natalie a dummy on her very first night, LOL. She wasn't really interested in it straight away tho. One problem can be that they use too much sucking energy on the dummy instead of using it on the breast... Something to bear in mind if you do introduce it. Natalie liked her dummy in the first few weeks of her life and we didn't have any troubles with b/feeding. She gave the dummy up after about 8 weeks...
I think the first couple of weeks can be just so hard as you work out what your baby likes and needs in order to be more settled. Hang in there. I know I haven't been much help, if any, but you're doing great!

[Liz]

Aww, what a little cutie! hehe.

She's only 5 days old, I doubt she knows whether its day or night yet, so her 'awake' time might be at night at the moment. The only advice I have is to try and sleep with her during the day so that you're not so tired through those night feeds and settling, perhaps she's picking up on your uneasiness when she wakes at night?

As for the dummy, they can use a dummy, but I'm the same as you, didn't want to interfere with breastfeeding, so I didn't use one, just used the boob (best for your milk supply anyway). Which reminds me.. night feeds are the most important for building up your milk, so it's actually a good thing (always look for positives!). As I said, she's only 5 days old, things will chop & change around for the next few weeks yet probably. Sounds like you're doing the right things so far.

I'll send you over some sleepy vibes tho incase they help! hehe.

[Cherie]

Ngala. You're probably feeling very sleep deprived and a bit overwhelmed right now. Dont' worry - it won't be like this forever, I promise!

When we bought Jambin home from the hospital, for the first week or so, he was awake continuously from 12midnight til about 4am. I was distraught. I'd prepared myself to be up frequently during the night, but I wasn't anticipating being up for 4 hrs continuously. I spent so much time reading sleep books, looking for a magical solution, but I honestly think it was just developmental at that age. Gradually over a few weeks, he moved into a more normal sleeping pattern where he would sleep for 2-3 hrs, then wake for a feed, then sleep for another 2-3 hours etc. At antenatal classes, they told us to expect newborns to sleep for 16-18hrs a day. I say don't expect any such thing. There might be newborns who do that, but my baby wasn't one of them, and it sounds like your bubba isn't one of them either.

It's crucial that you've got your DP's support at this stage. My DH was up with me every minute that Jambin was awake. If I was breastfeeding, he would curl up on the floor beside me, just for moral support. It's so exhausting that it's really important to have a second person there, just to get you through these early weeks.

[Ngala]

thanks everyone for your support once again!! Its such a learning time that I wish they came with manuals!!

I ended up giving DD a dummy this morning and she took to it straight away and we slept for maybe 2 hrs. She was sucking away and she was loving it. I feel like a bit of a failure giving her a dummy cause i said to myself that i wouldnt, but you say these things when you dont know how things will be! There wasnt a problem with her feed this morning, if anything she latched on a lot quicker!!

I will keep going and have got to remember to sleep while she sleeps!! I must turn myself into a night owl and be insync with her!!

[Tracey]

Veronica,
Zyon (thnakfully) has been sleeping 5hours between feeds, ofcourse this is not common (although we left hospital the day he was born & it's hard work for babies so they are extremely tired the first couple of days too) Anyways when i mentiioned to the Nurse that I was concerned that 5 hours between feeds was longer than I had expected she said that he was likely catching up on rest from the journey of birth & sure enough from 2am he has fed every 2hours, (this to me is normal & what I had expected though!)
Your body/breasts & Avaleighs need to feed more often ATM etc to build up the milk supply & fat etc on her that is required, it really doesnt last long in the scheme of babies first days/weeks...
My milk has already come in & man am i feeling it, but thankfully feeding 2hourly is Ok with me, I know it will help him grow & my supply & once we settle into the right amount of his needs & my breast milk supply things settle & go back to 4ish hours!!

Also leave her room curtains/blinds etc open during the day & only have the room dark at night it will help her establish day/night difference!!!

Unfortunately you cant fastforward to 3ish wks time when things will be getting easier etc, but trust me you wont wnat to fast forward, I want time to stop, I look at Indah & Maddy & wonder when did they grow up so fast!!!

Good Luck & whatever you do, REST REST REST when she is, dont worry about the wasging, house, dishes, make up or anything, let your body do what it needs to nurture her!!!

Best wishes!!!

[Snacks]

I feel like a bit of a failure giving her a dummy cause i said to myself that i wouldnt, but you say these things when you dont know how things will be!

You are absolutely right! You have no idea what having a baby's like until you have one, hey? If its working for you, that's brilliant! You're a winner, not a failure
Happy resting.

[firstbub]

Hi there.

My baby girl is now 8 weeks old and I remember she was the same as your baby at night when she came home from hospital. She is heaps better now and is only waking up once during the night. I think it just takes a while for them to work out the difference between night and day. My little girl also had bad wind in the first couple of weeks, which made her very upset! We ended up giving her Infants Friends before each feed and this seemed to help. The dummy was a lifesaver for us also. I think the sucking helped to bring up the wind.

Good luck with your bub. I am sure things will get better soon!

[~Debbie~]

Veronica - i felt like a failure when i gave Aiden a dummy as well. But, it was the best thing we could of done. He settled really well with it, and i have had no problems with him telling the difference between dummy and boob. If he is awake and wanting a feed, then i take the dummy out a couple of minutes before the feed. My mum also said sucking helps with wind. I have also started to use a little bit of infants friends mixed with maybe 10 - 20ml of warm water, but, have only really just started to need to use that, but, its always worth a go. Aiden farts and burps all at once when i give him that, and then settles really well.

They dont know the difference between night and day, and also, when you come home from hospital, they have a whole new enviroment to get used to agaain. Just relax, and work around her routine for awhile. On my first few days at home, Aiden would be awake for a few hours during the night - i spent a lot of time on BB then. Cause he was just awake, and i figured no point in upsetting him, and me, by trying to get him to sleep. So, like everyone says, sleep during the day when they sleep. You also get very very good at catching 5mins here and there..

I was in hospital for 4 days after his birth, and your day diary looks pretty similar to how our days where. No routine no nothing. Forget about the clock, just work to what she needs. Aiden has days when he will feed happily every 4 hours, can be awake, happy for 4 hours, but, then have days when he will feed every 2hours, sometimes 90min, and just want cuddles, and not sleep well, and then, for no apparent reason, will go back to being a 4hour cycle baby. If i tried to stick to the "routine" i would be nuts by now, and Aiden would be very unhappy.

Its all new, and you are a sensible girl, and with the help and support of peoples on here, you will do just fine.

[Kirst11]

The only thing that I can add is that I think that you are doign a GREAT JOB!!!! Don't feel like a failure for giving her a dummy. I felt the same way when my DD was about the same age. I had problems bfing her, and after I introduced the dummy, it actaully made it EASIER. I think that part of it was that we were all sleeping a bit better so our stress levels were reduced.

I also read a fair but about sucking being a comfort for newborns (hence why they like the boob), and that sometimes giving them a dummy can help them adjust and relax. How many books will tell you that these days?!?! But ignore anyone who gives you any sort of flack for giving her a dummy. She's your daughter, and you decide what's best for her and your family.

I agree with the night/day thing. It takes them a while to learn the difference.

At night, have you tried putting the top that you've been wearing for the day in the cot with her? Have her lie on it? She may get some comfort from your smell.

Good luck sweetheart and keep up the good work.

[LuluHB]

I think its funny you think you're a failure reaching for the dummy on the second day you're home. Like you, there was "no way" my child was going to have a dummy - that is until my first night home from the hospital with a screaming baby of course!!! Like the others have said, this Mummy thing is really tough and whatever works is what is the right thing for your daughter.

Also, if you remember when you were pregnant your bubby was probably more active at night when you were quiet and she's just staying in that routine now that she's in the big wide world, but she will get out of it soon enough. I think Izzy was a couple of weeks when she did the big switch - which makes life a lot easier for you. Good luck!

[Liz]

Oh I'm glad the dummy worked for you Veronica! I caved at about 6 weeks hehe, but he wouldn't take it anyway. I agree with everyone - do what works! If the dummy doesn't seem to interfere with your feeding, that's great

Enjoy your gorgeous bundle.. they grow up way too quickly.

[Ngala]

thanks everyone for your kind words and support, everything you all said means alot to me.

We had a better night sleep last night. DD actually wasnt very interested in her dummy yesterday - she just wanted to be cuddled. So I brought her into bed with me. It was only a light sleep but we managed to go 3 hrs between feeds.

And yes they dont know the difference between day and night! I actually think that Avaleigh was more activ during the day as i never had no problems sleeping. i am going to try and get Avaleigh used to the day/night thing by keeping the house nice and bright during the day and the lights dim at night while feeding.

And YES, they grow up too quickly!! Tomorrow, She will be a week old. I know its only a week, but its still to quick!

[Ozziehoffy]

Veronica, Avaleigh is just beautiful and her name is gorgeous! I used to feed Oskar in bed at night, so the only light on was tv light with volume right down low. He was pretty good with day/night but until he was around 8ish weeks old would NOT sleep during the day unless I was holding him. I ended up getting a HAB cos he'd sleep then. Don't know if something like this would help at night so you could still kinda lay against some pillows so you were kinda upright and she could sleep on you and you could still get some sleep as well. Like someone else said, she will settle down and don't worry if you need to use a dummy, I was like you... NO NO NO...lol... but I did use it for about 3 weeks on and off but now he hates it anyway. You do what works for you and Avaleigh, you're doing great.