Ooooh, tough one!

Without reading all the replies...

My DS is over 13 months now and starting to tantrum (only mini-ones, right from the start I realised he was just pushing it so came down hard!). I calmly tell him that screaming will not result in anything. If he gets mad and hits me I put him down and leave him there for a minute, before picking him up, telling him I still love him but we DO NOT hit Mummy. I would like an apology, Liebling say sorry. If DS is completely unrepentant and giggling he goes back down, but that doesn't bother him now. If he cuddles up and gurgles at me then we hug a bit more and I'll play with him. I know it doesn't mean much, but he is going to learn not to bite/hit and learn that negative behaviour has negative consequences. Doesn't work so well now he can pick himself up and walk to me, but I ignore him pulling on my jeans. The rules are the rules.

I will just say that I don't just let him cry. He can cry as a consequence of being naughty, but not just cry. He wakes up pretty grumpy too, he's getting better, but I don't let him cry (unless it's 5.30, I've been up more than 15 minutes getting him back to sleep and he pulls himself away and gives me a wide-awake grin, then I just go back to bed and get him when he really starts to holler!) and I don't punish him a lot, but he has to learn consequences. Consequence of a 5am wake-up after being up a lot at night is that Mummy doesn't want to play much today. Consequence of biting/hitting is a time-out and an explaination that we don't do that. Consequence of screaming for food in a supermarket is no food until we're home (then again, he is only having 3 minutes more of no food because he may get food in the car if he has been really good). Consequence of ignoring a "no" is being taken away from that activity (for example, hitting the TV with a stick means no TV and no stick for an hour - not that he's bothered about the TV, but he is about his sticks!).

I found since he started to walk alone really well he's played alone a lot better, because he can get around better. And distraction is great - if DS is getting fussy for something he's not allowed (like he wants coffee) then I announce that I'm gonna get him and he actually runs to me so I can tickle and kiss him. He hasn't got the hang of chase yet LOL. I let him take things out the cupboards, btw, so long as he helps put them back - all the dangerous stuff is out of reach. His favourite game last month was putting pegs on the floor then back into the peg bag - he'd get out about 30 pegs and miss maybe 3 when he puts them away.

(I threw DS a packet of his tomato corn snacks the other day - completely missed him, but I was just so furious with him screaming and DH just playing on the computer and not helping when I had a killer migraine, so after that I went to bed for half an hour and left the boys to it. They played with the noisy train set and the piano. Because I don't need quiet when I have a migraine so bad I lose colour vision and control of my legs.)