Chanting/Singing Loudly at Bedtime - Help!

[~Trish~]

My DS is 3 and for almost a year now when he goes to bed and when he wakes up he sits up, rocks backwards and forwards and chants/sings/hums loudly for a while. We used to think this was kind of funny until DS#2 arrived and now DS#1 has stepped it up a notch! He sings louder for much longer (one night he went on for an hour and a half) which means no-one can sleep because his room is next to ours and his brother's. He used to only do it for 10 minutes, then go to sleep, but since his brother arrived he does it longer as an attention seeking thing. He also does it when he wakes up, he is waking really early now because he hears me get up to feed DS#2 which means I can't go back to bed and am up at the crack of dawn everyday after very little o'night sleep (DS#2 is 5 weeks old).

DH and I have tried asking him to stop, telling him off, punishing him, etc...but it doesn't work. We just put block-out blinds in his room so the morning light wouldn't wake him so early, but it didn't work . Sometimes bribery will work, I leave a couple of sugar-free lollies on his drawers and tell him he can have them in the morning if he is quiet, but I will come in and take them away one at a time if he is noisy. This has some success, but not always.

Can someone tell me if his behaviour is normal? I assume he does it as a mode of soothing himself to sleep, but not sure why he does it when he wakes up. Has anyone else had a child who has done this? Does anyone have any ideas for how we can manage this behaviour?

It stresses me out so much sometimes because I am not able to have a nap in the evening before the next feed because DS is so loud and I can't grab an extra hour's sleep in the early morning after a feed because of the same reason. It also disturbs DS#2 and I end up running backwards and forwards between their rooms trying to calm one and quieten the other! Any suggestions/advise would be greatly appreciated!

[CatherineL]

Trish, I can't offer you any advice, but just wanted to give you big hugs! :hugs: Your holding it all together so well... I hope your able to get that couple of hours extra rest soon and Joel finds a new favourite past time instead of chanting and singing!

[~Trish~]

Thanks Catherine, you're so sweet!

[katnap]

im racking my brains, and you've tried everything i can think of. you need a big hug!! Ill keep thiniking, and i hope my brain will come up with something for you ((hugs))

[Kazbah]

*hugs* Trish, I hope you get some sleep soon. could it be he's doing it to get attention? Maybe change his bedtime routine a little to make it more special for him?

[Phteven]

it sounds pretty stressful.
Since you said he is doing it as an attention seeking thing maybe you can try to reduce his need for attention. Can you pre-empt him by going in before he starts his routine and replacing it with a new one. Read him a book, have some cuddles and a quiet chat and stay with him until he's a bit drowzey. Maybe once he has the positive attention the desire for negative attention might be reduced.

[~Trish~]

Thanks for all your hugs ladies, I really need them right now!

Katnap - Thanks for thinking of me, if you come up with anything let me know!

Kazbah - Yep, it's definitely become an attention seeking thing, we've stopped going in as much because we worked out that he really likes that, even if we are mad at him!

Dachlostar - Thanks for your suggestions. We currently have a nightly routine of bathtime, a story in bed and cuddles and chats. Maybe we should try waiting with him until he is drowsy like you said, I am willing to try all things!

[Emma1979]

this may be a stupid suggestion as i don't have a toddler, but maybe you could have a cd on in his room with nursery rhymes or whatever and teach him to sing softly... maybe teach him soft singing for bedtime, and loud singing during playtime... again i have absolutely no experience with children above the age of 8 months so apologies if my suggestion is ridiculous.

[~Trish~]

Emma - That's not a ridiculous suggestion! I actually suggested this to my DH the other night, but we are yet to try it (we need to get a portable CD player). I wondered if the sound of music may decrease his need to make his own! You have just inspired me to give it a go, thanks

[Emma1979]

oooh excellent, maybe it will work, i guess u never know til u try. as funny as it sounds, our 8 month old seems to LOVE music, and in particular - sixties music, we have about 5 cd's we play during the day etc and one particular one that is played when she sleeps. we discovered it by accident at a bbq, there was loud music playing and she was overtired, but she sat in front of the speaker kicking her legs to the music and beaming... funny little thing. i think she'll be a singer or a dancer :-p

[kungfubecca]

Hi, I'm another with absolutley no experience there but hugs to you.
Is there anyway you could give yourself a break to kinda re-group like a sleepover at nan's house? That is of course if Nan is near by. My sis has been doing this with her 3 year old every now and then so they get a little rest and only have to tend to the 1yo.

won't help your problem but will help your sleep for a day.

[~Trish~]

Emma - How cute that your little one is into 60's music!

kungfubecca - Thanks for the hugs! Good suggestion about a sleep-over. The only person he could stay with is my mum who is a very busy lady. I might have to do that one night when I get desperate!