nellnell, I could have written your post myself. My 2.5yo DS is so defiant, argumentative, negative, whiny, clingy ... argh, I could go on and on. It is really really hard to find positive things to praise him for when, for example, he starts the day with about 5 tantrums before breakfast then dumps his weetbix upside down on the floor, then yells and me, slams doors etc. My DD, bless her soul, is a placid little button (albeit a horrible sleeper) and she just has to go with the flow. DS needs constant entertaining and won't go more than 1-2m away from me, so I feel a bit touched out by lunchtime a well.

I've found myself becoming a horrible mummy .... yelling, being sarcastic, holding grudges. I feel like we're getting into a really negative spiral, and he is reflecting my behaviours which makes things worse and worse.

I'll be interested in reading any further replies to this thread, because I'm struggling too. But I'll come back in the morning and post some of my strategies in response to your questions.

Nighty night