I feel guilty as we agonised over even ttc #2 as we are happy with just the three of us but would also love another member of our family. A few days after I had confirmed my pg I remember thinking - what have we done, how am I going to be able to love and care for two. But since then i have come to realise that even though DS won't get the same attention from us he is really enjoying the idea of having a brother or sister and I think it will be different but still good.
This was a HUGE! concern of mine before DS was born. I had a fantastic relationship with DD and we had been through alot so our bond was quiet strong. I was scared to death of losing this bond as i knew there would be times that she needed me or wanted to play that i wouldnt be abled to because i was feeding.
Once he was born DH and I made sure she was the first to see her little brother before the rest of the family. I also got something very special that arrived in the post the day we got home (good timing) that is a keepsake from her brother. I bought a teddy and got its jacket embroided saying ' To Jay love Claire' on it so she had something special to give him.
She did go through a very depressed stage which lasted about 2 weeks, she was very down and it was very hard to get a smile on her face. This broke our hearts as this was very out of character for her. I would let her help my change Jay's nappy and help wash him when bathing him, and when possible id cuddle her the same time i was feeding him.
It was a very difficult time for all of us haveing this extra family member to look after but it did hit her extremely hard. Im sure she thought id traded her in or didnt love her anymore. There was no getting through to her either. We just had to show her how much we loved her and that things were for the better.
The relationship that i had with her has definately changed. I dont think i have that bond as strong as i used to. In saying that though she is growing up so fast and is very mature for her age, which doesnt benefit her sometimes. So she is getting more independant and wanting to do things more for herself. I dont know if things would have been different had we not had Jay and thats someithing ill never know.
He is 7 nearly 8 months now and she loves her little brother to death. She interacts with him on the floor and passes him toys if he cant reach them. She still helps with bath time and nappy changes which she still enjoys. And when he is finally asleep, lol, then that is our time to play. We go outside usually so as not to make to much noise and we play whatever she wants.
I went through a stage where i was very firm and narky with her which tarnished her spirit a bit, i regret my attitude every day as she is very special to me. I know now though that it was out of frustration of not being there for her when she wanted me. Thats why now when Jay's asleep im all hers.
Things do change but its only for a short time. Its something that cant be avoided unfortuanatly. Some kids adapt better than others im sure, and i think the age they when bub is born would be the teller, kwim.
Try not to stress and enjoy one another. You will be fine once bub is born, there no turining back now anyway lol.
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