I try not to praise them to much i mean really how is telling a child "good coughing" going to help them as they grow.. infact they might find as your prais edrops off in later yrs they feel like failures because its not good any more, directly translates to bad coughing... all because mum isnt Praising me for EVERYTHING!!

talk like you would to an adult.. or next time you hear your DP cough start saying good coughing!! as in normal sentences although maybe some simple words.

(coughing is just an example of crappy praising that im using)

re direction and not using NO will probably mean you will get some better results.
No has SO many meanings for us, children get confused between No we mean.