Feeling pressure to let others babysit

[indie24]

I have only just started leaving my DD with SIL in the last few weeks. SO she was just on 13 months old. It wasn't that I don't trust SIL but have only just felt comfortable in leaving DD for longer periods of time with people other than DH. As others have said do it when you feel comfortable otherwise it is more stressful than helpful

[Heaven]

OMG Sterla, I was going to write a post the same!!
I feel like people think I'm overly attached to DD. Is there even such a thing? Can you be overly attached to your own child??
My mum is always saying she can look after her and it will be good when she can stay the night. Umm..NO!! I haven't been away from DD for long either and have only left her with DH. This friday DH and I have to go to a funeral and my mum is looking after DD and I am FREAKING OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel so bad bc I can't explain to DD that we're just going out and will be back and I feel like she'll be thinking 'wtf is going on!!' and be scared bc she's also going through a bit of a separation anxiety stage.

I was also wondering if it was weird to have not left DD with someone else by now but obviously it's not! thanks!

[misty]

DD was well over a year old the first time I let her be babysat, it was only for an hr and I fretted the whole time. DS1 was much younger - but that was because of neccessity (I hated it) and even now (he is two on sat) he isn't often babysat. DS2 - mum has suggested she could babysit so DH and I could go to the movies or somethhing, but I am not ready for that at all. Luckily after the first two, mum now realises that this is me and doesn't push the issue.

Mind you i have also had comments about how I hold my babys excessively - from many different sources. Maybe they are right, I just don't know if I could hold them any less - If I need my hands free I use my sling.

Oh, and I can count on one hand the number of people I feel I can leave any of my kids with - sadly for my MIL, she is not one of the people (although we actually get along really well, I just don't like the way she interacts with children in general).

[Netix]

Heaven, I had to leave the kids with my Mum (at my house though, so I think that helped) to go to a funeral when Ryan was 3 months old. I was away for about four hours (and didn't even get to the wake!), and he needed a feed while I was out. Mum got him to have a bottle of formula (I told her to feed him if need be), but with great struggle. He was very pleased to have me home once I got back. It was on my mind while I was out, especially by the time I felt like my bbs were going to explode, but I knew things were under control (I actually had my phone on silent and told my Mum to ring me so that I knew if there was a problem, but not that I would answer it, so that was reassuring).

[Heaven]

Netix, thanks! She'll be minding her at our house too which helps.

[black_rose]

Sterla tell your mum that your and DS are not ready but she will be the first on your list when you are! I have found it hard with DD2 to leave her with anyone she is breastfeed, won't take a bottle and gets very upset if I am not there, she gets extremely grumpy the day after anyone else watches her even DH! This is the opposite to DD1 who would breastfeed or have a bottle and was happy to be around anyone, she was in special care and has always been around lots of people and had bottles so I think its made a difference so she was babysat at about 8 weeks.

It is only the past couple of weeks that she was happy with him because she is on solids during the day with an occasional feed. We had a sitter on Saturday night as we had a friend's 30th and she wasn't able to get DD2 to feed so I was up at midnight, 4.30am and 7.30am with her.

Take your time and let DH watch her for longer periods of time first and if your mum wants a girls breakfast take DS, he still needs his mum!

[Sterla]

Thanks for your replies . I'm glad I'm not the only 'weird' one out there who hasn't left their LO yet. That in itself helps a lot .
Big to you Heaven - I would be freaking out too!

I don't understand everyone's insistence that I should be leaving DS with other people - like I'm strange to want to look after my own baby! DH and I do get couple-only time every evening, as DS is in bed by 7.30pm, so we get a few hours to ourselves - not quite the same as going out, so that will be nice one day - just not yet.
I think I'll just have to tell my mum (and others) that I'm not ready yet - but I will add that she'll be the first person I call when I finally am ready (thanks for that suggestion ).

Thanks again for your replies - I don't feel quite so silly for making a big(ish) deal out it.

[Rach75]

I had left Jack with Jase (DH) while I ducked to shops etc, the first time I left him with someone else he was 3 weeks shy of 2yrs and it was for 3 hrs for a wedding reception, the next time was when he was about 29 mths with a friend for 3hrs while I had my hair done, the next time was 12 days ago when he was with my mum for 6hrs while I had c-sect with Luke he also spent about 2hrs with my IL's while I was inhosp with Luke I dont plan on leaving him again for a while

though I have been informed by DH that in feb we are leaving both boys with a friend as he has a work dinner to celebrate 10 yrs of service and already I am in tears and upset about this, I beleive I woudl be fine to leave Jack but Luke wont be 4mths so I am fretting big time

dont feel pressured move at you own pace