Tantrums??

[aussienic]

Ok this is just a question

Our son Jacob is 2 years and 4 months and boy can he throw a tantrum..

We tend to placate (sp?) him rather then discipline him when he is throwing one. now he throws them over the most ridiculous things.. or at least to us they are ridiculous. For example.. We are driving in the car and we drive under a train bridge he used to put his hands on his head and we all did it incase the train ran over us.. was great fun.. now however he has decided this is not going to happen anymore. Our other son Isaac has taken to doing it everytime now as well but Jacob will scream the car down if anyone does it. I will admit there are some days where we just don't do it to keep the peace but that means Isaac misses out on something he enjoys. Same thing goes for if the radio is turned on.. TURN IT DOWN/OFF he yells.. no matter how softly it is playing and it also means oiur other boys don't get to listen to the radio,,

He does this for many things. such as who gets out of the car first who shuts the door on the house or car who checks the mail He throws a screaming wobbly over just about everything to be honest..

Now 90% of the time Jacob is a delightful child who is very loving and cuddly but the other 10% watch out..

So what I am asking is how do you deal with these situations? Jacob won't allow you to cuddle him or talk to him he just screams NO really loudly.. If we have time we just sit and ignire it and wait for it to pass.. There are times when we just don't have the time to deal with it.. For example tonight he screamed at me and I did yell back as I was already frustrated by something else at the time but I am only human and can only cope with so many things at one time..

I am assuming he will just grow out of it but I hope by mostly going with what he wants isn't going to make it last longer or get worse...

[Meluchja]

Sorry I'm not going to be of much help, but I sure do sympathise. Unfortunately my little girl is just starting something very similiar and we are running out of ideas to control it. I'm also hoping that she will grow out of it.

I hope he improves soon. Good luck. I hope someone can give you some good advice.

[aussienic]

Thanks.. I just hope the way we are dealing with it won't make things worse. I know at the moment it works for us but will we regret it in a few months time

[Meluchja]

IKEWYM. I always wonder if what works now will turn around and bit me on the bum later. Oh the joys!!

[mickyndan]

Hi Nic,
I have a DS born the same day as Jacob and I am going through exactly the same thing... Funny story. He has just started this screaming thing (a really really high pitched scream). THe other day he was screaming at me for some reason so I got down to his level and screamed right back at him. He stopped screaming, looked at me with his bright blue eyes and we both burst our laughing... it was quite funny. To be honest, I don't have a particular "routine" for discipline. I suppose it depends on what he is doing, what mood he is in and what mood I am in to how I deal with different situations. Sorry, I am not much help there. I agree that we are all human and we can only take so much of a "terrible" two year old. As much as my DS doesn't understand the world I can tell you that I DO NOT understand him some days. I totally understand what you are going through and I feel for you (hee hee), you are soooooo not alone. Good luck and if something is working for you please don't hesitate to post it - would love to hear.

Micky xxoo

[aussienic]

at the screaming back at him.. I can imagine that was quite a funny moment..

Jacob also screams very high pitched and screams NO NO . We have never dealt with this sort of tantrumming (sp) before so we are at a loss..

and if you find something that works feel free to post right back as I will do too

[christy]

One thing I've learned amongst our tantrums... you can't discipline or reason with a child mid tantrum. Its not the time that anything can be accomplished.

With Matilda, we started talking about things before hand. So if I knew I was going in the car as we were getting into the car we would talk about the train bridge... and what happens when we go under the bridge and why we used to put our hands on our heads etc etc... I found for her it helped her come to terms with the way things were. She used to have an issue with being restrained, so getting into the car it was awful. So we started talking about getting into the car & if she got into the seat without a tantrum we would reward her & tell her how wonderful she was for it. We would talk about it & about how to do it & what we expect of her before the situation got worse.

I found that helped with things we knew were happening ahead of time. If she gets tired & uncommunicative and angry we can't always talk beforehand or reason with her. In those instances I always let her know I'm here for her when she's able to talk about things. I encourage her to go to her bed & let her frustrations out & to come to me when she is ready for comfort. I let her know I'm always here & I love her no matter what.

[aussienic]

That all makes perfect sense Only problem with Jacob is sometimes he WILL want to put his hands on his head and if you don't then the screaming starts.. and it is other things too. like the wrong cup, plate, heck even the wrong coloured spoon or fork..

yet other times he doesn't give a toss about those things..

another thing he does which drives us nuts and we do sit him down and explain why he can't do it this way.. If he needs to go to the toilet and someone is in there instead of knocking on the door he just walks down throws himself on the floor and screams and screams..

it sounds like I have a devil child doesn't it? Maybe I should start posting all the good points..