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Thread: Funeral - should I take her?

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    Default Funeral - should I take her?

    MY oldest DD is four years old, and her friend's father just passed away after an accident. The friend is six, and she has asked us several times if we are coming to the funeral. Dh and I plan to go, (they are also our neighbours) but I don't know if we should take Elyse. It's a lot for a 4 yr old to take in, and too much for her to understand. I have explained death as best I can to her, and that her friend and her mother are very sad, but feel like the funeral might be too difficult. What do you think? Should I just take her and deal with the questions as they come, or shield her from this a little longer? She's pretty sensitive. I don't want her to be frightened either.


  2. #2

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    Oct 2006
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    Sorry Cricket that you're having to make this decision, and so sorry for your daughters' friend and her family. I can only suggest that it is up to your daughter... When I was about six a close family friend died and my mum asked if I wanted to go to the funeral. She told me a little about what would happen and I decided I didn't want to see it or know any more, so I said no. It may be the same for your little one?
    I do totally understand your not wanting her to be afraid. Sorry I can't be more help.

  3. #3

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    Chris.... I don't know if this will help, its a slightly different situation, but it might give you a few things to think about...

    Funerals - Is 4 too young?

  4. #4

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    Thanks ladies - I don't know how I missed that other thread. I guess I just pop in and out of here too fast! Time at the computer is sorely limited with three little ones at home! Anyways, we went to the visitation this evening, and Elyse's friend immediately asked where Elyse was, and we told her that we would bring her tomorrow. I think it will mean a lot to her, and the more I think about it, the more I think Elyse will be OK. She is freely asking me questions about death, etc, now, so I think if there is anything that bothers her or that she doesn't understand, she will talk to us about it, and I will do my best to anticipate her questions.

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