Hi QB.

I think there are pro's and con's for having a big age gap and the same goes for a small age gap and what may be right for one person may not be right for you. Ultimately whatever decision you make it will be the right one and you will get through the tough times which I guess when I think about it come with a close age gap and also a large age gap - they come with parenting full stop!

This my story and hopefully it helps you make the decision that is right for you and your DH and gives you a perspective on close age gaps. My three are quite close in age. I had the three of them in just under three years and whilst I wouldnt change any of them (love them to bits) - if I had known what I do now I would have waited for a bigger gap between them.

The gap of nearly three years (one months short of three years) between my DS1 and DD seems to work really well. DS1 was old enough to have some independence and was quite "into" his sister when she was born and still is now.

Where as DS2 was only 14 months when DD was born and was still very much a baby himself but he had to grow up very quickly (for which I feel so so so guilty about)!

I guess (for me) I wish I had more time to spend with each of them rather than running around like a crazy woman - again for me the close age gaps has meant a lot of work and hard times but I keep telling myself it will all be worth it when we get out of this baby/toddler stage.

Dont get me wrong I love seeing them playing together and doing things together but the close age gap has taken away some of the enjoyment of parenting (for me).

Good luck with your decision - whatever you decide it will be the right decision.

Now that I have typed this post I think I may have responded to you re this issue in another thread so sorry if you have heard all this before from me .
Jem