Going to bed for the night

**Mez80** · December 27th, 2007, 08:24 AM

Hi all,
We recently moved house, but DD (who is 7 1/2 months now) was starting to do this before too...only now we are more understanding of it putting it down to the move...but i think we are creating a monster...so any advice would help on the following..

During the day DD is happy to be up for about 2-3 hours and sleeps for about 2 hours. She goes down when i notice she is tired and she soon drifts off to sleep. I have been roughly starting to follow a routine which recommends bub us up by 4pm of an afternoon (knowing that the later i let her sleep, the later she will go to bed) After the afternoon sleep, she generally plays, watches me cook and we have a bath. This is usually her cranky time too..so we spend some time outdoors as this is what she loves. Now, as with the day time routine, when i notice she is tired, i put her in her cot. She cries within seconds. I generally kiss her goodnight and close the door. The crying increases. I have left her for 5 mins at a time b4 going in again to stroke her cheek or a quick cuddle if she is really sobbing (i cant help it) I keep trying the in and out of bed thing.. sometimes the only way to settle her is to take her out of her room. She will sometimes fall asleep on our bed instantly..then we put her into her cot. This can last 1-2 hours.It doesnt seem to matter what kind of day we had..if it was a perfect day at home or if we went out for a few hours. Its so hard of an evening. Last night she finally went to sleep at 9:30pm! We try walking around the house, rocking, watching tv and patting at this time (not needed in the day though) and have cancelled out hunger, dirty nappy, teething etc Anyone have any advice please? We will be entertaining on saturday and i can just see it...either DD will be up, all happy and excited to be receiving lots of attention (meanwhile getting really really tried and over it) or i will be in her room with her while she screams, trying to settle her so i can return to my guests.

Claire · December 27th, 2007, 08:56 AM

I can only share with you what I do - creating a routine can take some time, so you might nothave it in place before you're due to have your guests around!

For all sleeps I used to stand by the cot and hold my daughters hand until she was really sleepy and then creep out of the room, if she woke I'd go back in and start the cycle again giving her a cuddle whenever needed. Sometimes I'd let her cry for a bit but that generally didn't work and she's end up waking fully.

She's 2.5 now and knows that I am there for her but I can still sit on her bed, patting for 10 mins or so. Not much chance of getting her to take a day sleep if we have guests and I generally let her stay up later if we are entertaining in the evening.

I have done my best to accept that she has needed my help to create the right environment for her to fall asleep in. Though I have to admit, if there's been a programme on the telly I've wanted to watch, it's been a bit of a pain or when we've had guests. My MIL would say I should let her cry but it doesn't work for us.

There were times it took 30 mins maybe even longer and others where she dropped off straight away.

We use bath, story (in the lounge) and bed routine. We keep her room dimly lit and have some music playing quietly. I also have always left her day ajar and at times full open so that she can hear us doing our thing. I have also (as she's got older) stood at her door so that she knows I am there.

***noni*e*** · December 27th, 2007, 03:28 PM

Asha is only 3mths but as soon as we introduced a bedtime routine shes been sleeping really well.. we do feed, shower (not always every night but most nights) then sleeping bag on, bedtime story (sitting with me on our bed with only a small lamp on) then the lamp goes off and she goes in her cot i tuck her in and give her her small bunny, dummy and a kiss and turn on her aquarium soother which has lights and music... sometimes i have to go back in once or twice to pop her dummy back in but basically as soon as we start with the shower she knows its almost bed time and after her story she knows its time to go in the cot...
all the best hth

**firstbub** · December 27th, 2007, 06:03 PM

My baby girl is doing the same thing at night time and I can understand how tiring it is! She is 7 months old and the last week or so she has been harder to settle to sleep, especially at night.

Tonight it took me about an hour to get her to sleep in her cot even though she was really tired. It is like she is starting to realise that she is by herself in her room. As soon as I pick her up she falls asleep. The last couple of nights I have started to put one of my t-shirts tucked into the side of the cot. That way she can still feel close to me! It does seem to help so maybe you could try that!

**Neenee Jellybeanie** · December 27th, 2007, 11:37 PM

I don't have much advice because my baby (who's younger than yours anyway) sleeps in my bed with me and has so far had no problems sleeping, but I think that leaving a baby to cry makes it worse. Babies can get anxious, because they don't know if you'll attend to them if they cry. If you go in and comfort her right away, she'll soon learn that you're there if she needs you and will drop off more easily. That's my opinion anyway.

**Mez80** · December 28th, 2007, 11:55 AM

Thank you all for the advice. Will try putting my t shirt in the cot with her tonight and see of that helps as dont know what else to try. Last night i tried to sit next to her cot but it seemed to make it worse. She was probably thinking...dont just sit there..get up mum and take me out!! I think i need to choose something and stick with it for a while. Sometimes i think taking her out of her room makes it worse . I wish now, that i bought a rocking chair and used it straight away.. i know i would have been setting myself up for doing it all the day but anything would help right about now and it sure would be more comfy then carrying her around the house. Goodluck to you as well, first bub. That routine sounds great noni e. I give DD a bath and then feed around the same time each night, last night she was asleep at 6:45 pm in her cot (no crying) i was amazed...then she woke up 45 mins later and was hard to settle.. I will try the book before bed too.. only thing is..books excite DD...so i dunno how that'll go..but worth a try.

**Mother Goose** · December 29th, 2007, 09:49 AM

I'm having the same trouble Mez. We also just moved house and DD has gotten much worse since the move. She is fine for day sleeps but come night time, she fights it like mad! I've found I have more success when I feed her later, her routine has always been the same though. We have a play and we all try to eat together. Straight after dinner is her bath and then into bed with a bottle (she self feeds her bottle but will only do it in her bed. She throws it away (literally) when she's had enough so no milk stays soaking her teeth). What I DID change was when she ate. If she has a snack around 3:30-4pm and then a bottle about 5-5:30, we have dinner about 6-6:30 and then a bath and then bed and bottle. THIS usually has her going straight to sleep without fuss. Sometimes she even refuses that bottle and goes straight to sleep!
My monkey has just woken from her nap so I had better go!

HTH

MG

**Mez80** · December 30th, 2007, 04:25 PM

Hmmm i wonder if our bubs will grow out of this phase..and when ... i guess these are all things we will miss when they are all grown up

**JordieC** · December 30th, 2007, 05:12 PM

I'm not sure what it would be like for a 7 mnth old but for our little one we do what everyone else suggested (.ie routine, feed, play, books etc,) and then put her down. we leave her if she's protesting but if she cries hard we come and give her a cuddle or pick her up and walk around for abit.

We only have to do that for about 2-3 mins and then put her down again. sometimes she cries again and on a bad night it can take up to 1 hr to get her down but it does get shorter. I think it's okay to leave then if they are just protesting otherwise you would be in there at every sound and they would eventually learn that. hope it gets better!

**Snacks** · December 31st, 2007, 12:38 PM

Hi Mez, my Natalie is similar - will go down without a problem during the day, but the overnight sleep is more difficult. She needs extra reassurance.
We too have a bit of a routine, which includes a story. Then I put her in bed and pat her bottom until she seems really sleepy (this doesn't take long - a few minutes). I give her a cuddly toy and leave. Sometimes she cries straight away and sits up in bed. So I go back in and pat, then leave again. I repeat until she stops crying, or only calls out when I leave the room.
It is hard when you have guests, I do understand. Is Natalie soothed by patting? My Natalie finds it even harder if I pick her up, you see, so it is better for both of us if she stays in the cot. Though I do understand this isn't the same for all babies... In fact only a couple of months ago my Natalie would've screamed at me if I had've tried patting her in the cot

They change all the time.

**Mez80** · January 1st, 2008, 07:43 PM

I have taken bits of what everybody has said and put it into action. So far i found out that patting, stroking, rocking, picking her up, putting my head in the cot, putting my arm in the cot and sitting right next to the cot doesnt work but (yes there is a light at the end of the tunnel) i have put her in and been sitting on the toy box opposite the cot (where she can see me when she rolls over onto her tum) and she protests but its more the whingy cry rather then that sad cry..so i sit and look at her and eventually she puts her head down, gets comfy and falls asleep. I have also been keeping the door open until she is asleep. So far, this is working pretty well.. but as u said Amy they change all the time. I guess then we try everything all over again.
Oh and on the night we had guests, DH fed her in our room, rocked her for 30mins (bit full on but we really wanted her to sleep) and she was out till 7am the next morning.(horray) So it all worked out.