2nd baby & toddler

[jenjen25]

Hi,

Not sure if this is the right place to post this, but i'm 19 weeks pregnant also have a 3yr old, just wondering if anyone had any advice on having 2 kids. I've grown so used to having my little boy on his own that i've been having panic attacks about how i'm going to cope.

Any suggestions, advice or what not to do would be greatly apprecaited.

Jen

[PinkPalace]

hi jen!
welcome!

dont be scared. you will find that 3-4years will be a nice age for you, they will be very willing to help!
my daughter was 15 months when i had DS so she was a lot younger but i would always make sure she was ok first before doing baby things.
I found that in the early months bub will be happy with a cuddle (slings are great) or a feed - so it is important to have things ready for those moments to make sure your DS feels attended to.
have snacks pre-prepared in the fridge for feed times, i found DD was alwaysw hungry when i sat down to feed!
have activities ready to go so he has nothing to ask for when you are changing a nappy etc - and get him involved! he will love it.

I also found having DH take bub when he got home so i coul dhave 1 on 1 with DD helped too.
xx

[HotI]

my daughter was 15 months when i had DS so she was a lot younger but i would always make sure she was ok first before doing baby things.

My toddler is more high needs than my baby, so i often find it easier to settle the baby first and then i have longer to focus on the toddler. then i don't get cranky with the toddler for taking too long (just being a toddler) and the baby is settled and safe first. the temperament of your kids will influence what works best for you.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

i think the emotions your having are normal, i certainly went through the "how will i cope stage" but i was also upset as DD1 was only 15mths when we had DD2 and that wasn't part of our plan.
That said my girls get along very well, even at 15mths DD1 was so intrigued and willing to help.
There is no right or wrong way with two, you very quickly learn what will & wont work for you, whether it be settling bub or toddler first, who naps first etc etc.
You will probably find once #2 is here you will be a little more relaxed & at ease about the baby stage than you would have been your first and in regards to introducing someone new to the relationship think of it as a new experience and way to spend time & teach your toddler - babies really are a great learning experience for smaller kids

[sloane]

it's still very new to having 2 children - my dd is 6 weeks old.

i agreevwith hot i that how you do things will depend on the temperament of your children. my ds will be 3 in about 6 weeks & he's quite spirited & emotional so i'm spending more time with him than i actually expected. it's not as bad as i thought it would be tho - like zf i feel way more comfortable with the baby stage & feel very relaxed about that (it's just my toddler that makes my head hurt ). you do have to be a little more organised & definitely stay on top of things like the washing!!

my main advice would be to not put too much pressure on yourself & go with the flow - things dont necessarily go to plan but that's symptomatic of having kids whether it's 1 or 10!

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2

[OceanPrincess]

Oh wow you sound just like me - I was having panic attacks in the latter stages of my pregnancy with #2 as well! Very normal

I had lots of help in the first week or so, just until I realised I could do it, it would be ok. Yes there were times when little man was crying and I had to put him down and deal with DD, but he survived Like HotI, my toddler was more high needs than my baby (that has swapped now though!!) and I agree when she says the temperaments of your kids will dictate a lot of your actions.

Take it one day at a time. When your day starts, think "What will I achieve today?" and if all you put on your little list is "Happy and healthy baby and toddler" then that's ok. That's huge in the first few weeks!!!

At 3, your older bub will probably be more involved than mine was, too. My oldest is now 3, she'll be 3.5 when #3 arrives and she is right into this pregnancy. She kisses my tummy goodnight and says "Goodnight baby!" and she's coming to my scan tomorrow. So I'm expecting she will be very keen to "help" this time around!

All the best - you can do it xx

[jenjen25]

Thanks everyone for your feedback, it is throughly appreciated.

i know that once the baby is here it will be ok, but at the moment my fears of what it will be like are over taking everything. i will have lots of help at least from my family (seriously the in-laws are hopeless!!!) and on the positive at least i won't have to work for a while LOL. Hello trackies and bed head.

You've definately helped me to know that it's all going to be ok.

Love and Light to you all XXX

[Shanti]

You know what? Having a baby 2nd time around is so different! You are already a mum, you know what sleep deprivation entails, etc it's all been done before!

You will surprise yourself at how you adjust with #2, like I did

Yes your relationship with your first child will change but its for the best as they learn about sharing having a sibling, and you realise how much love you have to give!!

Wait til you see the two siblings interacting with each other and playing! And when they make the baby smile in those early weeks! It's unreal!!!

My little girl was only 2yrs 3mths so we had a closer gap.