Help with bedtime!

[kelsbels]

My DD HATES going to bed, she has a real aversion to her cot and I feel like we've tried everything. She will be 10 months next week and absolutely screams when we put her down. Bedtime has become a very unhappy ritual, which seems to make everything worse, but I don't know how to fix it

Once she's asleep, she pretty well sleeps through, but daytime sleeps only last about half hour and then she is screaming again, no chance of resettling her.

Any ideas on how to make bed a happy place? Do your kids have toys etc in bed with them?

I am thinking about going back to rocking or driving her to sleep just to save the heartache but I know this is not really solving the problem.

Any advice would be very much appreciated!!

[Lily Dust]

I am thinking about going back to rocking or driving her to sleep just to save the heartache but I know this is not really solving the problem.

I think that is solving the problem entirely!

Hun, firstly my DD was and IS exactly the same. Going to bed is just not an option without a fight. Not so much upset these days but just adamant she dont wanna sleep We rock and sing and stroke and all sorts of stuff. Today it lasted 1 1/2 hrs, I ended up in tears and that was the end of that! My DD got very bad at 10 months but I think it was a stage she was entering. She was fearful of that seperation from her mumma, fearful that when you walk away...where do you go and that you may never come back. Rest assure it will pass...eventually.

DD has a toy in bed but I take it out once she falls asleep. Im a bit paranoid like that iykwim. It is a really hard time to go through all the different stages and it can be so exhausting. Try not to stress, you are doing it all just right and dont let anyone tell you otherwise!

[Yas]

Kelsbels- Hun. God, my DS went through those stages all the time (and with the bath too!) and still does, it's just soooooo much easier now because you can reason with a 3 yr old (and distract them).
When my DS was younger he would scream and would want to be rocked to sleep, or to get up. I stayed strong and stayed in there with him and he had a seahorse that played music, i put that on and stroke his face and he would usually fall asleep. I found talking to him helped give him something else to focus on as well as his favourite toy the seahorsey who went to bed with him everytime ......and he did sleep with that, it was his safe comfort thing.
Does she have a fav musical toy that plays for a long time? Maybe you could try a comfort thing???
GL, hope i didn't confuse you xx

[Tilda]

Hi Kelsbels. Big I know exactly what this is like. My DD went through exactly the same thing at 10 months. I don't have any sure fire solution but I can tell you what happened with us. At 10 months I decided to night wean (under a bit of pressure from family and friends - you know how it goes "you've got to do it, it's time" blah blah blah). This was a big mistake because I think it coincided with a peak in separation anxiety. DD became impossible during the day. She was extremely clingy and would only sleep for 30 minutes once a day. And she hated going to bed. Then around 12 months she got really sick one week and she basically spent the entire week on my lap feeding and sleeping. And from that time we inadvertently started feeding to sleep again (which I'd sworn I'd never do). But it seemed to actually help. She got over that extreme clinginess and started sleeping for an hour and a half during the day again. Then when she was about 13 months I felt like she was ready to start self-settling again. And we gradually moved in that direction again (which I confess did involve a bit of crying but it was that angry cry and not that hysterical terrified cry). I think when they're going through that really intense separation anxiety the best thing to do is do what ever makes them feel secure and eventually it passes. I hope it passes soon for you!