I am thinking about going back to rocking or driving her to sleep just to save the heartache but I know this is not really solving the problem.
I think that is solving the problem entirely!

Hun, firstly my DD was and IS exactly the same. Going to bed is just not an option without a fight. Not so much upset these days but just adamant she dont wanna sleep We rock and sing and stroke and all sorts of stuff. Today it lasted 1 1/2 hrs, I ended up in tears and that was the end of that! My DD got very bad at 10 months but I think it was a stage she was entering. She was fearful of that seperation from her mumma, fearful that when you walk away...where do you go and that you may never come back. Rest assure it will pass...eventually.

DD has a toy in bed but I take it out once she falls asleep. Im a bit paranoid like that iykwim. It is a really hard time to go through all the different stages and it can be so exhausting. Try not to stress, you are doing it all just right and dont let anyone tell you otherwise!