Oh Kelly poor love I hear ya...and not what you want to hear but we're going through it again....my utmost sympathy and understanding my love.
My favourite phrase at the moment is "this too shall pass".
I found Darcy always got worse when I showed how stressed I was, so I started to make myself relax - or walk away for a few seconds. I couldn't believe how much she changed when I did, so maybe that's why he's better when you're out - cos you're more relaxed....
He wants to feel safe and secure. You are doing a fab job. Husbands just don't get it and you're right that's what we need other mums for.
As for the bad habits....have you seen many 10 years olds being rocked to sleep?