How do you fit it all in? Trying to settle into being a mother of 3.
I have 3 children. DS1 is 4 DS2 is almost 2 and DD is almost 11 weeks old.
When i had DS1 i was a bit of a home body absolutely thrilled to be a mum and happy to just do what he needed when he needed it. Got ourselves into a wonderful routine (i'm a routine person, got to have it as a coping mechanism), he slept well, self settled and when we went out on occasions it didn't interrupt the routine too much.
DS2 came along and there were a few more activities going on, mini maestros class, mothers group, catching up with friends who have since had children but I somehow still managed to get in a routine. I was happy with the sleeps and the quality of them that he was getting and coped well when we were out and about.
Now with DD there is kinder, mini maestros for each of the boys, mothers group still, appts that are scheduled or last minute because of a sick child who knows life is just so much more busy. As well as a busy life DD has had silent reflux to contend with so at times she's so unsettled, i then end up having to interrupt a sleep she so desperately needs and then it takes ages to find where i am with her in a bit of a 'feed, play, sleep' setting. At this age that is only a thought in the back of my mind as i know she's still so young but it helps to understand what she might want and when she wants it.
Our week really isnt that busy but it's busy enough.
Monday the two boys are in FDC.
Tuesday is a nothing day.
Wednesday DS1 has kinder in the afternoon.
Thursday DS1 has mini maestros at midday.
Friday DS2 has mini maestros at 10am.
But as you can see it's all over the place.
I suppose i knew it was going to be like this but i do stuggle with the fact that DD is dragged here and there, i then get stressed when i can't get her to sleep and i have a 4 & 2 year old hanging off my legs, i need to get dinner done, i haven't had lunch, i'm so tired and i'm just ready to explode.
I know i'm not the only one to expereince this so the ones who know what i'm talking about how do you do it. How do you begin to be ok with the little interrupted sleep the baby gets. I feel so repsonsible for her not getting what she needs. I am struggling with the chaos at the moment. Will it settle? Will DD be able to get what she needs?
I'm not sure what this is ladies? A vent? Maybe i just need reasurance that i'm not the only one going through this craziness.
TIA i'm just trying to find my place as a mother of 3 and being good at it.
I'm sure you are doing a great job go easy on yourself!!
I can't really offer any advice cos my kids don't really do anything you know? The two oldest go to daycare but my DH drops them off and picks them up (unless I need the car) so nothing really changed when #3 came along. She's now nearly 15 months so only has the one sleep and it's easier to plan around that
EJ - it sounds like you are doing a fantastic job. I am subbing, because in a very short time, I will have three as well and also have the child care / kinder drop off's / swimming lessons, etc, so I am wondering how it is going to work as well. I also know I am going to feel guilty about interrupting sleeps to do pick up's / drop off's and how we are going to get out of the house by 8.15 am two mornings a week.
Thanks ladies, sounds like we're all trying to be the 'wonder woman' we want ourselves to be.
AE you were very lucky there to be able to have your little one establish herself without too much in and out of the car Will you be able to manage that also when the new little one comes along. I hope
Wow Boo Boo you're so close. We just do what we have to do and the little ones adapt to it i suppose but i just feel so guilty. Good luck i hope you can settle into a new way with your 3 little ones without too much stress
Black Rose we really are in a similar place, good to know we might be screaming inside but trying so hard to get by at the same time. Ohh that horrible word reflux and trying to manage it with ever changing meds.
I think if you're a routine-kinda-person it's obviously a good thing to stick with that as much as possible for your sanitys sake But at the same time, when you have three and you're doing all the running around the third bub tends to have to be a bit more flexible and less routined. You will more than likely find that she will just go with the flow if you don't stress about it. Try to keep a 'basic routine' - things that have to stay structured and have to be done in a day - and then be as flexible and relaxed about the rest as you can - you'll all cope much better if you're not stressing. Our DS (15 months) is used to being dragged to music lessons, tennis lessons, play dates, doc appointments etc etc for the other two and as long as I take snacks and toys, we always manage to have fun and turn things into little adventures. I try to see the waiting time while the others are busy as an opportunity for DS and I to spend some time together outside the house where things can get TOO routine and boring for him and just enjoy the moment.
EJ I could have written that post a few months ago (Mine are now 4.5 yrs, 3 yrs and nearly 5 months). But remember your bub is 11 weeks old, not 11 months! She is still getting used to life outside the womb and you are still exhausted. Getting to bed as early as you can, letting things "slide" (whether its the home-made dinners or housework or mini maestros for a term), and just "breathing" every now and then will all help. But nothing helps like time. You'll all settle into a groove son enough. Not the same one you were in before DD arrived, but a groove of your own which suits all of you. Remember this will pass - don't try to do it all at once....
Plan ahead Mine are 7, 4, and 1..so I manage pretty smoothly.
The hardest year I found was when DS1 was in kinder and DS2 was asleep at pick up time..I either had to risk (kinder only around the corner) a quick run in for Kinder pick up or wake him. Most of the time I would wake him.
Now I have DS1 at School, DS2 at Kinder and DD tagging along no matter what time. She just fits in with whatever, eats and sleeps on the run. I found I am alot more relaxed about routine during the day with DD.
As for myself, I am in bed at 8:30pm most nights, read for 30mins and lights out! In fact that is probably 6 out 7 nights. I may stay up until 9:30pm on a Saturday
You are doing a great job, somehow it just all works. Yep, you have THOSE days where everything and anything can go wrong, they are few and far inbetween and are usually a good laugh with DH at the end of the day.
This could be me too- although I am really really lucky that DD2 is a take along baby, she is settled and happy most of the time.
My capsule has been my best friend, being able to settle her to sleep in her capsule if I need to pick dd1 up from school. I have tried to get ito the habit of getting dinner prepared in the middle of the day, so at the feral hour it can just be chucked on- or I use the slow cooker.
I agree about letting stuff go, sometimes you just have to say no- especially as being out of the house all over the place can be so unsettling, for bubs. I guess at the end of the day you just have to take each day as it comes, and micro manage- if that means everybody spends the whole day in the pj's and eats toast for breakfast lunch and dinner then so be it!
mmm.... Capsule is my saviour, I try to double the amount of a meal I cook and freeze as I go. So I have a few meals in the freezer for those horrible days! I try not to worry if they are in their pjs for the day.... I get dh to pick up food on the way home if need be. If the house work isnt done, I just have to soldier on a much as I hate to see it dirty! Its busy but its fun!
I was going to start this post with the EXACT words as minimatron
The capsule is my life saver. If I have to go out, my baby gets put to sleep in it and the in and out of the car doesn't affect them at all that way. I think it is about the only thing that has gotten me through and meant that my babies have had something that slightly resembles a routine.
I am at a point now though, where I stick to going out in the mornings only for outings and activities (like playgroup and mother's group). Not always possible with other commitments, but I have said no to commitments that don't fit into our routine. DD1 has just started kindy so on kindy days I work all our naps and meals around her drop off and pick up times. So far so good
Thanks ladies, you've given me a few ideas that i will most definately try. I know it's early days but some days just feel so out of control and i get so stressed then i'm a grumpy mum and i feel bad.
Yeah it is worth it, especially when you get those newborn cuddles. I didn't realise how much harder the jump from 2 to 3 would be especially with them so young.
I can't really comment on juggling three kids as I only have one and another on the way (and that will be enough for me ) but have you considered seeing a chiropractor for your DD's reflux? I have a few friends who've had success with this. I know it would be an extra errand for you but might be worth it?
THanks for the suggestion Melsa, in the early weeks of her suffering i did take her to the osteo (i know a lot recommended osteo or chiropractor) and honestly it's hard to say if the osteo actually helped. We had 3 sessions and the osteo did say there were a few things she was able to 'tweak' but when we had improvement in the end i think it had a lot to do with the zantac also. I wonder if we'd get any more results or different results from the chiro??? I hadn't thought of it. It's hard to know if these things can eliminate the problem or just help ease the symptoms. The medication seems to help a lot but the symptoms came back this week when she grew out of the dose she was on. We've increased it and we're back to having a happy little girl. I don't think she'll be grown out of it by the 3 month mark but soon hopefully.
A little birdy must have been listening to me battling away at the moment because DH has taken the boys away for the weekend so it's just me and my little girl. It's quite and i'm getting a much needed break from the day to day routine of 3 little ones.
I do miss them but it is nice having some one on one time with my little girl.
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How do you fit it all in? Trying to settle into being a mother of 3.
go easy on yourself!!
Mine are 7, 4, and 1..so I manage pretty smoothly.
) but have you considered seeing a chiropractor for your DD's reflux? I have a few friends who've had success with this. I know it would be an extra errand for you but might be worth it?
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