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Thread: How far apart were your first two children?

  1. #1
    CatherineL Guest

    Smile How far apart were your first two children?

    I'm not sure if I have posted this in the correct area...



    I'd love to hear from people regarding;

    -When they started to TTC their second child?
    -How far apart the children were?
    -Were you happy with their age gap?
    -How did you cope with the pregnancy with a child already?
    -and what was it like with the two children?
    ETA - AND what was your second birth like in comparison to the first?

    Just curious to hear from people in their experiences.
    Last edited by CatherineL; December 16th, 2007 at 10:33 PM.

  2. #2

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    Hi Catherine! Hope you and Ro are doing well.

    You probably know most of my story, but I thought I'd reply in case you are interested.

    -When they started to TTC their second child?
    We TTC when Joel was just over 2 in January of this year.

    -How far apart the children were?
    As you know our children are 3 years and one day apart in age!

    -Were you happy with their age gap?
    I am very happy with this age gap as I got to enjoy Joel lots before #2 came along. I also got to enjoy my body being back to normal for a while

    -How did you cope with the pregnancy with a child already?
    I coped pretty well because the morning sickness wasn't as bad this time. It got tiring towards the end because I couldn't just rest when I wanted to. I still really enjoyed the pregnancy though.

    -and what was it like with the two children?
    It's getting better! Joel struggled to adjust, but is starting to get back to normal now. I found it hard at the start when I wanted to have a day nap and couldn't because I had to look after Joel. Now Kieran is sleeping better at night I am finding everything easier. It is harder to do things now though, putting two of them in and out of the car is so time consuming that I really only go out if I have to. I hope it gets easier!

    - AND what was your second birth like in comparison to the first?
    First birth was long and traumatic. Second birth was shorter and AWESOME!! I think you are way more prepared the second time, I did more research and felt more empowered. I loved my second birth!

    Are you looking to give Ro a little brother or sister soon? Or just starting to think ahead?

  3. #3

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    When they started to TTC their second child?
    We started TTC when Alexzander was 10 months old, so January 2006.

    How far apart the children were?
    This bub should be born around 3 years and 2 months after.

    Were you happy with their age gap?
    Yes and no! We started TTC & I had hoped for a gap of around 2 years so not happy there. Having said that though, now I am pregnant I am much happier with the bigger gap because Zander can be pretty self sufficient if he needs to be where a younger child wouldn't be.

    How did you cope with the pregnancy with a child already?
    The only thing for me because I'm lucky & haven't had much m/s is the tiredness. Zander wants to run around & play with me, but by the time the afternoon comes I'm just too tired for it. Also going to the park / play centre is very tiring if I'm running round with him, so I just tend to watch these days.

  4. #4

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    -When they started to TTC their second child?
    Ethan was 18 months old

    -How far apart the children were?

    4 yrs and 2 months

    -Were you happy with their age gap?

    yes and no! We didn't want them that far apart but life had other plans. MY other children were 23 months and 26 months apart and it worked for us both ways.

    -How did you cope with the pregnancy with a child already?

    it was relatively easy

    -and what was it like with the two children?

    very easy. I found we all settled in well

    ETA - AND what was your second birth like in comparison to the first?

    I had a natural first time and a c/s second time

  5. #5
    Taia's Mum Guest

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    Oh wow this is a good post! I would love to have another but DH wants DD to be about 4 first! grrrr....interesting to see what other people did!

  6. #6

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    -When they started to TTC their second child? Almost straight away

    -How far apart the children were? 10 months 27 days
    -Were you happy with their age gap? Extremely happy, wouldnt have wanted it any other way

    -How did you cope with the pregnancy with a child already?
    Was hard on some occassions but Chelsea is a great kid all round so i manageed. If you put ur mind to it, it can be done

    -and what was it like with the two children? Bliss

    ETA - AND what was your second birth like in comparison to the first? Faster, just perfect, but hurt alot more.

  7. #7

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    -When they started to TTC their second child?
    -How far apart the children were?
    -Were you happy with their age gap?
    -How did you cope with the pregnancy with a child already?
    -and what was it like with the two children?
    ETA - AND what was your second birth like in comparison to the first?


    OK lets start

    1-we have to start straight away due to us taking a very long time to concive DS ( 18mths) so we used no protection after 2 yrs went to the doc he had a look at me and was going on about how good it was to see young overies had a look at DH found out he has a bad count but then told us if we were 10 yrs older he would help us straight away with the count that DH has but as we were so young ( 23 ) come back in a year Grrrrrrrrr he made me so mad!!!!!! But anyway we did manage to do it ourselves yippy

    2- so our kiddlets are 3 yrs and 1mth apart with all of them for someone who can't plan for when we will fall we have had a April May and June baby all I need now is a July as I'm march and DH is Aug LOL

    3-Well I really wanted a 2 yrs gap but now that I have a 3 I am very happy as the 3yr old is nappy trained, so I have never had two in nappies and can understand basic instrutions and know they have to be very careful around a new baby.

    4-well with my 1st my DS was a very good sleeper still so I just tried to sleep when he did and he leard to put on a video when he wante to watch Blues clues, but when having our 3rd my 1st was in school so found it very hard on a bad M/S day to get up to take him to school or pick him up but we got through it all...

    5- whats it like well busy but enjoyable you try to play with the older one while the baby is asleep but for some reason the tiedness that you just cant shake when you have your 1st isn't there as much as it was with your 1st you seem to be able to function much better well at least I did...

    6- Well my 1st I had high BP so was in and out of hospital and ended up been indused( sp?) but other that that for me they have all been alike all have been only about 3 to 4 hrs the midwife has always had to break my waters but I tore with DS and not with the girls maybe he had a bigger head LOL so with all three i have gone home early...

    The biggest thing I find is that you want to go home sooner with the other babies you have mostly for because 1) I missed my other child too much and 2) I always feel like they are been to noisey for the other mums in the hoospital so DH doesnt get much time with baby until we get home but that because we have always had our babies out my home state so no -one to help out and look after the other children I even had to have DS in the labor ward with me when we had DD1 but he and the poor nurse that had to look after him were great...

  8. #8
    CatherineL Guest

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    LOL Trish! Of course I'm interested! And No, not soon... We thought we'd start trying next year, as much as I can't wait to have another... I think maybe we should wait and enjoy the blessing we've got because she is so easy (so far touch wood - now sleeps 9 till 5.30) that maybe we're just asking for trouble with two so soon?

    I'm just curious really and love reading other peoples answers!

  9. #9

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    -When they started to TTC their second child?
    We weren't actually trying - more not trying not to!

    -How far apart the children were?
    There will be 12 months

    -Were you happy with their age gap?
    Nooooooooo (although ask me again if I survive the first 2 years!) We wanted our kids close, but I had more in mind an 18 month age difference.

    -How did you cope with the pregnancy with a child already?
    I am finding it really difficult. I was already exhausted after a terrible 3 months with DD's reflux and to then have to deal with pregnancy as well was tough - in the early months I didn't have much energy to play with her, and I'm now finding as I get bigger that I'm struggling to pick her up as easily from the floor/cot and walking up and down the stairs to her bedroom is a real pain.

    -and what was it like with the two children?
    Don't know yet but am very scared!!

    What was your second birth like in comparison to the first?
    Induced, natural 34 hour labour with DD. Hopefully can improve on that with this baby.

  10. #10
    becky Guest

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    Hey Cath....

    -When they started to TTC their second child?
    We never really "tried" with either. Just thought, when it happens it happens. I was lucky enough to fall pregnant both time within a month of going off the pill. That was probably on Liams first birthday.

    How far apart the children were?
    21 months and 4 days.

    -Were you happy with their age gap?
    Extremely! Trust me, it is super hard work, you dont get much time to yourself, but I wouldnt have it any other way, and I will be especially happy with the age gap as they get older.....

    -How did you cope with the pregnancy with a child already?
    My second pregnancy was a bit tougher than my first - just morning sickness really. I COULD NOT have done it without having my hubby round and the support of my Mum to help. Cause Liam was still so young, he was still quite demanding, and there were days I felt so sick, I just wanted to stay in bed... (Thankyou Mum). I definately think you need quite a bit of help with a youngen....

    -and what was it like with the two children?
    Yeah I have settled in really really well too. Like I said before though, you dont get much time for yourself., LOL

    ETA - AND what was your second birth like in comparison to the first?
    100,000 times better!!!! DS was 24 hours, (3hrs pushing), vaccuum extraction, third degree tear! Argh.... Nightmare!! DD was 4 hours, completely natural, no drugs and only a minor tear. Yeah contractions seem a lot more intense, but it was all over with so fast, thank god! Cant wait for #3. Lol

    Hope I didnt bore ya Cath..

  11. #11

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    -When they started to TTC their second child?
    We started thinking about it when Lindsay was 6mths old and decided to wait another few months. On Christmas day of 01 I stopped taking the BCP when AF arrived (great christmas present that was LOL) and then we fell pg that cycle in january and I was 8wks pg by his first birthday.
    -How far apart the children were?
    There are 20mths between our first three
    -Were you happy with their age gap?
    We are extremely happy with the gap we have. They are such good mates and in regards to school it is perfect - Lindsay will be in yr2 next year and Erin will be starting kindergarten.
    -How did you cope with the pregnancy with a child already?
    it was no problem at all. I had no morning sickness with my 2nd pg and Lindsay was such an easy going baby so it wasn't difficult at all. Although by the time he was 18mths he started teething pretty bad so there were a few sleepless nights which was hard, but he still slept during the day so I could catch up if I needed to. It was also great at the end of my pg when I was really tired I could sleep then too in the afternoons.
    -and what was it like with the two children?
    No problems at all. Erin was a pretty high maintenance baby in that even though she ate and slept well, when she was awake she needed to be entertained all the time and got quite grizzly if she was left in her rocker chair for too long. Luckily that didn't last for long once she started crawling at 4.5mths (yes you read that right ) and she was much happier then. Sleep wise for both of them was good as being only 20mths meant that Lindsay still had a big afternoon sleep, so I could get them into the habit of having their afternoon sleeps at the same time, which I could then either have a snooze too or get stuff done without distractions. Also I found it easier to adjust to two kids because Lindsay was still a baby kwim? so I was still in the habit of looking after a baby (it was a bit harder this time round having a larger gap between 3 & 4 and going back to all the 'baby' stuff etc)
    ETA - AND what was your second birth like in comparison to the first?
    Erin's birth was by far my easiest and my best birth. She was born in 8hrs, drug free and very nearly on the toilet LOL. The second stage was only about 15 minutes. I still had a 2nd deg tear, but I loved every minute of Erin's birth. By comparison to my first, it was 4hrs shorter and I was pushing for 1.5hrs.

  12. #12

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    -When they started to TTC their second child?
    We started January 2006 when Matilda was 19 months old.

    -How far apart the children were?
    2yrs 5 months

    -Were you happy with their age gap?
    Looking back, I actually wish they were closer, but I wasn't ready to think about TTC yet until then.

    -How did you cope with the pregnancy with a child already?
    It was hard at first, Matilda wasn't sleeping well & was going through difficult behaviours.

    -and what was it like with the two children?
    At first it was hard, the first 3 months trying to figure out where your attention needs to be, but its so wonderful now. When they play together... its gorgeous.

    ETA - AND what was your second birth like in comparison to the first?
    Amazing. My second birth was a VBAC and my first was 24 hours of labour resulting in an emergency c/s. So my second birth was so much better physically and emotionally.

  13. #13

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    -When they started to TTC their second child?
    When Flynn was 9 months old

    -How far apart the children were?
    18 months - first time lucky with TTC

    -Were you happy with their age gap?
    So far so good - it is especially nice that Flynn isn't jealous - YET! Not sure if its his personality or age, but he is still very much a baby and self-absorbed, so doesn't really notice us being affectionate with Oliver.

    -How did you cope with the pregnancy with a child already?Hard because I was tired and working, but I have a very helpful DH who made all the difference/

    -and what was it like with the two children?
    Once again - so far so good!!

    ETA - AND what was your second birth like in comparison to the first?
    Fantastic - the first was a vaginal delivery without pain relief, forceps or vacuum but plenty of OB interference. The second was 100% natural with midwives assisting. Unbelieveable and calm.

  14. #14

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    When they started to TTC their second child?
    We started when Jess was 8months old

    -How far apart the children were?
    17 months

    -Were you happy with their age gap?
    Yes very. I don't recall it being difficult, other than a few jealousy issues early on. They are wonderful friends.

    -How did you cope with the pregnancy with a child already? Everything was fine. She was still having sleeps throughout the day, so i was able to get a rest in as well.

    -and what was it like with the two children?
    wonderful

    ETA - AND what was your second birth like in comparison to the first?
    I have been induced with all births, but the first and second were very similar. Both took about 8 hours.

  15. #15

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    oh this is a goody

    When they started to TTC their second child?
    we discussed it and I fell straight away when Nikolaus was 9 months old

    -How far apart the children were?
    18months and one week

    -Were you happy with their age gap?
    It was hard at first but I got use to it

    -How did you cope with the pregnancy with a child already?
    Loved it. I would take naps with Nikolaus and we spent alot of quality time together and bonded really well.\

    -and what was it like with the two children?
    I use to put them both in the pram and just walk if I felt I was having a bad day. they are the best of mates and I dont for amin regret doing it. (see below what I mean)

    - AND what was your second birth like in comparison to the first?
    I had a terrible first birht 21 hours of labour to have an emergency c/s and lumped wioth post natal and not knowing wht to do. My second was a planned c/s and everything went smoothly and Iwas aloud to enjoy being amum with a nb.

    now im pg with number 4 and my 'girls' will have a 16 month age gap. We decided straight after having Vyolett that we wanted her to have a sibbling close in age like her brothers are because they really do share a very special bond (even though one has a disability) and we wanted her tohave that same closeness that they do. I have never regretted having my children so close in age and yes im finding it hard these days with the last few weeks of my pg but thats only cause im uncomfortable and not due to my children. I love being a mum and I love my 'tribe' I wouldnt have it any other way.

  16. #16
    Claire Guest

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    Hi Catherine,

    -When they started to TTC their second child?

    Emily was 18 months old when we conceived Harry - we were very fortunate and had only been trying a few cycles.

    -How far apart the children were?

    2.15 years

    -Were you happy with their age gap?

    Yes absolutely

    -How did you cope with the pregnancy with a child already?

    2nd time around was a lot easier in most respects. Certainly less mood swings!! Tiredness was a toughie at times though and my pelvis hurt a lot more the second time around.

    -and what was it like with the two children?

    Initially very tough but I had support so there was always someone to watch and play with Emily whilst I fed and changed Harry. Once we all got into a routine, life became a lot easier.

    ETA - AND what was your second birth like in comparison to the first?

    My first wasn't what I had wanted for us so for the second I made sure I had control over our birthing experience.

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