DD is now 2 and a bit and in the last few months I've made a concerted effort to have 'me' time. It's not really 'me' time in that I need it to plan/do renovations and apply for uni/new jobs but at least it means that I can make phone calls and do paperwork uninterrupted.

It's made a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE difference to me. I just felt like I was getting nowhere before. But having a couple of hours a week when DD is in occasional care means that I get heaps done and it keeps me motivated too. Otherwise, it was taking me weeks and weeks to get small things done and I felt dumb, stupid and demoralised. It's just impossible to do stuff with DD around - if I jump on the computer to look up a phone number, she's over to me within literally 30 seconds.

I also now make it clear to DP if I need him to take DD out of the house for an hour. My mistake before was not to be specific which meant that he wasn't that willing to take her out if I just said I needed some 'me' time. Now I say, "I need an hour so I can finish my job application."

My new motto is "nothing changes if nothing changes" and I'm much better at taking responsibility for my own happiness/mental health and work out what needs to change.

DP and I also try to make time to go out now and again. We're lucky that we have DSD to babysit but not so lucky in that DP is a shiftworker so he's either not home in the evenings or he needs to be up at 4am which means going out for the night is always quite tricky.

TBH, I left it far too long before making some changes.